Ok, those of you with more than two kids who are posting all the time…. who are you? How in the world do you get it done? I have so much I want to remember and haven’t had the time to sit at my computer and type it out. The next few posts might be jumbled and non-chronological, but it’s what I have time for right now.
Ryan is doing really well. This has been his best day so far. The first few days were pretty rough. He didn’t want to be put down AT ALL, not even to sleep. I think he was feeling rather anxious in his new surroundings. We’re talking about a kid who had never stepped outside, never had silence, never had dark – always people, always lights, always alarms and beeping. For two months that was all he knew.
When we arrived at home on Tuesday, his little eyes were darting everywhere looking for something he recognized. It happened again when I laid him in his bassinet for the evening. His eyes were darting so fast and had an unsettled look. I leaned over his crib, got really close to his face and said, “Mommy’s here, baby. It’s ok.”
He stayed unsettled for three whole days. Finally, today, his hands are lax by his sides (he had his arms and legs pulled up really tight to his torso) and his legs stretched out nice. I’ve seen seen him stretch a few times today – arms pushed out far above his head, back arched.
It takes a lot of time to care for him. The feeding tube has certain protocols I have to follow, pumping, wound cleaning/care, meds, and then the general baby stuff. And, with a baby who doesn’t want to be put down, getting general life completed is a challenge.
But, like I said, today he is happy to sit in his chair or sleep on his own. He’s very content and has been most the day. He only fusses when his diaper is dirty or he’s hungry.
The girls are a different story. They are adjusting to what it really means to have a new baby in the house. Natalie said to me this morning, “I like it better when Ryan is in the hospital. You have time to play with me.”
She got mad at me this afternoon when I was pumping, playing paper dolls with her, and talking to my mother-in-law at the same time. I thought I was doing good because I was actually sitting and playing with her, but she couldn’t stand that I was talking to my MIL. She got mad, cleaned up her dolls, and went to her room. I finished pumping and went to find her.
“Remember when Angelina’s mom had a new baby and Angelina was sad because her mommy was so busy?” Natalie’s face softened and she nodded her head. “Do you feel like that a little?” She nodded again. “It’s ok to feel sad that mommy is so busy. I love you very much and want to spend time with you. Right now I’m learning how to have a new baby. I have to practice a little and soon I’ll be better at having more time.” I gave her big hugs and kisses and we laid on her bed for awhile. She was much perkier after our conversation. So much so that we had a party in her room. She must be talking to Bailey lately…
Ainsley is struggling too. She sucked a pacifier today and climbed into Ryan’s swing. She refuses to listen when I ask her to do something and is pushing all of Natalie’s buttons too. The poor girl is just trying to figure out her place in the family and if everyone still loves her. I pulled her aside too and told her I love her and enjoy taking care of my little girl just as much as I do Ryan. This didn’t help, but I’m guessing with time she’ll come around.
Henry and I are adjusting too. Ryan slept the first two nights in our room, but was keeping Henry up so we moved him to the nursery last night. He is waking up once around 1:20/2 a.m. then wakes up again around 6 a.m. It takes an hour for his feeds to finish so I have to get up to silence the alarm, flush his tube, and power down the machine assuming he hasn’t fussed through his feeding. But I’m getting the hang of doing it and am able to take naps with him during the day.
I’ve had help almost every day…someone will call and see if they can come by for a few hours to lend a helping hand. It’s been invaluable. Thank you to everyone who has stopped by, brought by food, or helped in some way over the last couple days (not to mention the last 10 weeks).
(c) 2016 Leighann Marquiss
Comments (6)
Its ok that you are too busy to post, everyone knows how busy you are! When I brought my daughter home from the NICU I had no time for anything and all I had was one child, an apnea monitor and some meds! I can’t imagine how hectic things must be for you but sounds like youre doing wonderful.
While you were not posting, since I have only read your blog since Ryan was born, I decided to go back and read some of the first posts and I realized they not only thought he would live at all but I can’t believe you were ever confronted about terminating the pregnancy and look at him now! Alive and beautiful.
oh precious mom of three little ones… I am praying praying praying for you. You are doing a great job and there is so much to adjust to!!! I am praying for you all the time and will continue to do so. Hugs and much love jules
wow…so much adjustment…for ALL of you. i’ve never had a “heart” baby, so i’m just speaking from my experience…but it gets a LITTLE better EVERY day. just when you think you can’t take one more day of “x” it changes and gets better. praying for you!!!
Wow, you are doing great, it will get easier, and your sweet girls will eventually figure out their place in the family and that they still have people to love them, and now they even have another person who loves them. Once he starts to get used to them and they to him and he begins to smile at them, it will be such a precious moment for all of you! They will love having a brother, I’m praying for all of you, God is doing his job and you are prevailing.
wow, sounds like a lot of emotions going around over there. i’ll be praying. i love you lots!
amy<><
I am amazed that you even find the time to post! You’re doing great! Don’t worry about the girls. It all takes time. I am so glad Ryan is home ! What an incredible blessing!
We will continue to pray for all of you. Hans will probably be over there in the next few weeks.
Lots of love, Evelien