While reading Lynnette Kraft’s book, In Faithfulness He Afflicted Me, I came across the idea of how people indulge themselves (either consciously or subconsciously) when they go through trials or loss. I kept it in the back of my mind all through Ryan’s diagnosis and now treatment. And have finally found where I allow myself unadulterated indulgence.
Several months ago Henry asked me how much I planned to spend on groceries that week. We married in college so he put us on a budget from day one. In the beginning, it was out of necessity, but even as our income has grown over time we’ve still stuck with it. I’ve always known what I was spending and where… until Ryan’s diagnosis.
I was sick the entire pregnancy and suffering from emotional weariness. I didn’t have the energy to plan or comparison shop anymore and I didn’t care. I bought things because I wanted them, they looked good, or they were easy and would work for dinner.
When he asked me how much I planned on spending my mind drew a blank. I couldn’t even think of what number to give him. A discussion ensued which ended in him challenging me to spend $91 for an entire week’s worth of groceries. I asked him how he arrived at that number. His answer – I’d been overspending my allocated grocery budget for the last several months, and $91 was the amount left in my grocery envelope. I promised to try throwing in a hearty, “It’s just not gonna happen!”
Much to my chagrin, I spent $82 reserving the remaining nine dollars to purchase milk and fruit later in the week. What followed has become my routine for the last four months. I went back to planning my menu at the start of each week. Additionally, I shop the circulars of four grocery stores convenient to my house and plan the menu based on what is on sale. Sometimes there are staple items or meat on sale that I cannot use in the week, but know the price is hard to beat. For example, I buy whole wheat pasta at $1.79 per 13 oz. It was recently on sale for $1.00 per box. We have spaghetti all the time so I bought $10 worth.
In the last four months, I managed to cut our grocery bill by over 40%. Read that again. 40 percent!
I regularly purchase bread, yogurt, meat, cereal, and produce at up to 50% less by shopping sales and buy-one-get-one-free** offers. I stopped buying luxury and impulse items. I get coupons every once and awhile from my community newspaper for 26 cents a week and use about one or two a week on items that are also on sale, further reducing their price. I am sometimes able to get some of my luxury items this way as a treat.
I still make most our meals from scratch, buy organic products, and buy cereal with three or more percent dietary fiber (eliminating most the cheaper cereals). What I’m saying is: our family continues to eat healthy on this new method. And, we waste less food this way. I make sure to use our leftovers and freeze remaining ingredients not used in a recipe, i.e. the rest of the tomato paste or chicken broth in an opened can, to use at a later date.
It may seem funny for a family that isn’t struggling financially to think about this, but I find it to be rewarding and addicting. For one, as a stay-at-home mom, I actually feel like I’m contributing to our bottom line. I haven’t felt like that for… well… five and a half years. Not only am I staying within the budget, but also building a surplus. And quite a good one at that. So much in fact that we are able to use my surplus to fund other budget items quicker.
I’ve heard other SAHMs tell me they don’t have time to go to comparison shop or look up circulars. I understand where they are coming from. I used to feel this way. You might feel this way too. But I find I enjoy the challenge. I enjoy seeing how many groceries I can get for as little money as possible. I love coming home and telling Henry I saved as much as I spent that week. It’s a thrill.
If you’re up for the challenge, do it this week and tell me how you fair.
*Disclaimer: It took me longer to shop the first week since I had to learn the layout of three new stores. However, the longer I do this, the quicker I am. It now takes me about the same amount of time to hit four stores as it took me to do one. The trick is a list and staying focused. You can do it too!
**For buy-one-get-one free deals, some stores let you buy just one at 50% below regular price, which can be good if you don’t use the item regularly. Also, remember if you have a coupon for $xx off two items, you can use it on the BOGO free items taking your price below 50% off.
(c) 2016 Leighann Marquiss
Comments (28)
Leighann, this is a great idea/thought. I am at a time or phase where I don’t really “need” to coupon shop etc. and I’ve gotten rather lazy about shopping smart. There really never is a time that we shouldn’t shop on a budget and with some pre-planning. Its just wise stewardship.
Anyways, you might have lists and tools to help you plan I just read this post http://www.joybright.blogspot.com/ that has some helpful downloads…that went right along with your post. Just thought I’d share for whoever it might help.
Hope Ryan is feeling better with that ear infection…and you guys are having a good week.
I, too, am a bargain shopper. I love checking the circular and using coupons! Last week, our grocery bill was $152 before discounts and $99 after discounts and coupons. I saved $33 in coupons alone (last week Harris Teeter had double coupons up to $1.98). Plus, I was able to stock up on lots of essentials, thereby reducing our grocery bills for the coming weeks.
I don’t know how you find the time to shop at 4 different stores! Impressive!
You go, girl! You are amazing!! And your post made me feel a tad bit guilty! For quite a few years, I haven’t had to worry about prices of grocery items. It’s not that I have bought useless items…it’s just if we wanted it, I would get it. Up until a few months ago, we would get the Sunday Washington Post and I would clip the coupons I needed. We stopped the paper and so the clipping stopped too. I can’t say I missed it…although I did love getting money off of items that we would always buy. I am also a die-hard Giant shopper. My husband and I worked at Giant during our college years, so it has always been my favorite grocery store. I don’t like Food Lion at all (I think that dates back to them selling tainted beef all those years ago) and I find Safeway to be too dark and I just don’t like the lay-out. I will follow your example and watch the ads more and try and be a better, more frugal shopper.
I did find one way to save a lot of money on beef. One of our local farms (they usually have the pumpkin patch, hay rides, etc… during Halloween) raises a few cattle for meat. Anyway, last March, we bought 1/2 of a cow (sounds gross, I know). They took care of all the nasty stuff and I had the butcher vacuum seal the meat in 1 lb portions for ground beef and they labeled everything (the 2 different types of ground beef and all the types of steak). We still have lots of ground beef left and have almost finished all the steak (we only eat beef about once/twice a week….I also make fish, chicken and pork). Not only was it cheap ($300 total,) but we know the meat is safe, without growth hormones AND it is delicious! You will need an extra freezer though…because it is ALOT of meat at one time. Also, in case any of your readers are concerned about how long meat can be frozen….ground beef that is sealed and frozen immediately by the butcher (which ours was) can be kept for years in the freezer, steaks should be eaten in a year to get the best taste.
This was a long post…sorry.
OMG – you are a champion. Like SERIOUSLY, a champion.
I too Love coming home and telling my hubby how much I saved and all about my shopping trips! I started Bloging about them and our life too! I found this to be extra awarding!!
At the moment I’m and addected to couponing!! I LOVE getting things free or for little.
Thanks for your post!!
I’ve been following your blog for quite some time, and am amazed and impressed by your devotion to your children. I was so happy to hear that Ryan came home. I pray for him every day.
I have to tell you, though, after reading this post, that I really feel like Henry needs a good kick in the ass. From everything I can gather, you and you alone (going so far as having to remove Ryan from your room the first time home because he was “keeping Henry awake”–heaven forbid your critically ill child disturb your perfectly healthy husband’s sleep) to now, giving you crap because you “over” indulged on GROCERIES (not jewelry, not clothes, not fancy sportscars…we’re talking FOOD here) while you’re caring for three small children, breastfeeding your critically ill infant, AND making his meals every night? Seriously?
Again, I respect and admire your dedication so much – but there is a line between submission (don’t even get me started, let’s agree to disagree on that one) and flat out being treated like crap. I have an idea for a new challenge: buy what YOU like for three weeks (don’t you deserve to eat meals you love?), then give HENRY the money left in your “grocery envelope” and let HIM plan the meals and feed your family for a week with what’s left!
Wendy – We do a side of beef too. Really a little less – – there are a few of us that go in together for a whole cow. We pay a little over $400, but the cow is organic grass-fed… taste delicious and is always just a few steps away in my garage freezer. Love it! Great tip.
Correction to my above post…we buy 1/4 of a cow (I hate saying it like that…sounds rather cruel and heartless).
I am once again amazed at the number of things we have in common. I shop and cook in a very similar manner. I don’t mind going to a couple different stores to get what our family needs at a better price. Alan says we are always well fed with good food from all over like Proverbs 31:14.
What brand of whole wheat pasta do you use?
Dear Anonymous:
I do not know how to respond to your comment. I appreciate your feeling offended for the way you perceive I am treated by my husband and being willing to stick up for me. However, I think that perhaps because a blog is one-dimensional you are unable to see how my husband really treats me.
In reference to me removing Ryan from our bedroom – that was a decision I made out of respect for my husband’s rest. I know that all women do not operate this way, but I have always had our children in their own rooms for both Henry and my sleeping needs. I feel there is no reason for both adults to be sleep deprived when not necessary.
As for him challenging me to spend $91, it was only for one week (I took it upon myself to become addicted to bargain shopping since then) and it was appropriate since I am spending OUR money, not my own; and was doing so irresponsibly. It was a great reminder to me…. and he waited until I was able to take it on, not any sooner.
As for Henry treating me like crap…. I want to make clear he treats me like a queen. I wish you were a fly on the wall in our household so you could know how out of left field your comment truly is. My husband watches our children on a regular basis so I can have time to myself (something some of my friends never get). He encourages me to go on ‘girl dates’ and girls’ weekends. He is even sending me away for a week with a friend in October (Merry Christmas to me!) so I can have an entire 7 days of R&R. I don’t know many husbands who do this – especially given Ryan’s intimidating medical needs.
He regularly runs errands for me, rubs my aching body and is a true GIVER when it comes to putting up with my weaknesses.
I could go on and on, but feel at this point I’ve said enough. Thanks again for being concerned about my equality in my marriage. I think the biggest thing to understand is that I choose to submit to my husband – he doesn’t force me. I choose to remove a crying baby from the bedroom – he doesn’t request it. Respect and love go both ways and I choose to give both to Henry.
This was a great post. Right now I am doing a pantry challenge for 30 days, using only what I have in freezers and pantry, besides getting milk and bread and eggs, baby food. I have done pretty well but have had to get a few things. This has tought me I can make anything from nothing. Its been an eye opener too. I am usually frugal and find TONS of great deals and like to stock up. I have learned to feed a family of 6 on $50.00 a week, to be fair we do like rice and beans, and bean burittos and such so I often make things go further. We have a CORN night once a week “Clean Out Refridge Night” usually on Tue since trash day is wed.
I liked your responce to Anno, you showed just how great God works in your life thank you for leading by example, I need to show more Grace in my life so it was a attention reminder for me.
Praying for you and Henery and all your bautiful kids!!!
I also am addicted to bargain shopping. I LOVE Aldis. I go there everyweek. I also keep my eyes on the sales of the grocery stores in my area. My favorite bargain is when food lion had their brand mac and cheese for .10 cents. I think the adreneline of finding a bargain and saving money motivates me to keep shopping. My new years resolution is to start couponing. I think life would only get more exciting!!
To Anonymous,
Being frugal and shopping for bargains is not Henry’s fault, it’s hereditary. LOL! My sister is Leighann and our mother is the most frugal woman I know. So therefore we were raised with that example. Being a frugal and striving to save when you shop can be fun!
AND Henry is the most loving husband and father you will find (other than mine…ha ha). I have watched him do the dishes for us women many times at family gatherings, take the girls to the park so Leighann can rest and many other things that would cause the average women to drool. Both Leighann and Henry are competetive in nature so they are always challenging each other. Like Leighann said, when reading a blog, it is hard to judge tone and emotion. Henry is far from a a–. Leighann is a strong women and can defend herself if she would meet such a person.
first of all, anonymous, i’m going to believe you meant well…trying to “care” for leighann somehow by your comments.
but i can attest to the fact that you are very wrong. i know leighann and henry in real life and he is an amazing husband and father. just like leighann is an amazing wife and mother. they are an amazing team. because they are a team, they do things like respect each other’s sleep and challenge each other to be the best they can be (spend what they know is reasonable on groceries). if henry didn’t think leighann COULD do that…he wouldn’t have challenged her to.
anyways…leighann…this is a good challenge for me. i do go to 3 grocery stores, where i know i can get the cheapest things we eat. but i’ve never felt like coupons would really save me money. i mostly buy generic brands. if i wanted to start with one item/area…what would you suggest??
Lord knows we need to be saving as much money as possible right now! 😉
To anonymous- I was saddened by your comments because not only is what you said about Henry untrue, but your comments came across as potentially hurtful and insensitive to Leighann. I hope in the future all of our comments can be only encouraging and helpful to one another as we journey together through life via blogging!
Kim is the bargain shopper in our family. He can feed the four of us on $40 – $60 a week. Sometimes he stocks up a bit, but the next two weeks are usually under $50.
I can not figure out how he does this, so he does the shopping. I don’t plan meals, I just make lots of stir-fry, curry, and whatever else I can stretch a buck with. I do NOT generally get to make Moroccan beef much. 🙁
I totally agree with you about how addicting bargain shopping is! It is a weekly challenge to find the best deals and I love it! It does feel good to come in under budget and still eat healthy–way to go!
P.S. The Giant is awesome. He treats Leighann wonderfully, and I know a few friends who would probably drop kick him if he didn’t. He works his butt off to provide for his family and Leighann works her butt off to keep the family running. I don’t think they know how to do anything expect high gear. Anonymous, you truly don’t know how great ALL of Leighann’s family is.
I’m a new commenter after having found your blog and having gone back to your pregnancy posts and then read in order to the present so that I could genuinely understand your story. It was worth every single one of the many days it took me to accomplish that. Your family is an inspiration and Ryan has such a warm, glowing personality that you feel it right through that radiant smile.
I remember reading at some point, but of course I didn’t do right then and now don’t remember, how to change my email settings to you can email me so could you post how to do that again if it’s not too much trouble.
Since you’ve shared your family with me a bit about mine, DH and I have been married for 3 1/2 years. We have a 2 year old and almost 11 month old, both boys. I have a very rare type of very slow growing cancer called Carcinoid, I was first diagnosed when I was 12 years old (36 now).
Jennifer
I’ve always wanted to start a blog but I”m a bit afraid. how do you do it all?
Dear Anonymous, I have a hunch Leighann’s life is happier than yours. I hope yours improves as you are in my prayers. Love, Another Anonymous
hey leighann! awesome post… i started doing a similar thing last year. While bobby and i were going over our budget he said he spent $400 a month on groceries (at the time because of my work and school schedule he was the meal-cooking grocery shopper :)) i was absolutely appalled by the high amount especially since we were throwing away tons of food every week (i was/am the fridge cleaner outer). so he and i started sitting down at the beginning of the week to plan what meals we would eat. immediately our bill dropped to $30 a week as we ate a lot of the extra food we had in the pantry (a family of two should not need 12 boxes of mac and cheese or 10 cans of corn) we now spend around $160-$180 a month and hardly eat out at all (that $400 was in addition to 2-3 nights of eating out a week) i’m sure we could get it a lot lower if we shopped sales and coupons but for now i’m content where it is. It’s also become very fun for me to cook. i used to hate cooking because i never knew what to make or if we had the ingredients. knowing ahead of time what i’m making and that i have everything to go with it feels SOOOO good! We are also eating a LOT more fresh food or meals made from scratch and relying less on boxed meals and veggies from a can. And, i am now getting really good at anticipating what leftovers we will have and making them into a new meal. For example, i made pot roast monday and on tuesday i cut up the leftover meat and vegetables and added a can of garlicky diced tomatoes and voila beef stew 🙂
love you,
katie
Bravo, Leighann (if you could see me, i am giving you a standing ovation) on your reply back to Anon. It was so articulate and eloquent, without being rude. You definitely got your point across without distancing a reader from your blog! I’m so impressed.
That is the problem with anything in this digital age…be it blogs, e-mails,texts, etc… it is so hard to convey emotions and all that is going on, so that in the retelling of certain situations, many things get interpreted wrong and people/moments are judged incorrectly.
Hope little Ryan is doing well. What did you end up naming his star?
Leighann –
For a while (we need to get back into it) John and I would sit together every Sunday and go through the coupons/sales in the paper and plan our meals for next week based on what was there.
We would cut our coupons and put them in our couponizer… now a lot of people think I’m crazy – but we really love using it and found it to be really helpful when planning our trips because of how it organized our coupons by type of food and where it is usually located in the store. It was really the best $20.00 we ever spent – because the first time I went out I saved $25.00 that I wouldn’t have if I hadn’t had it with me… I thought maybe you might also want to check it out. It could be a fun way to get the girls involved in saving money too. http://www.couponizer.com/
Wow! Way to go is all I can say. Right now I try to shop cheap (we have what’s called Winco here where you bag your own groceries, no frills store & it’s cheaper) but I still spend AT LEAST $150 per week–at least. So-a question for you–do you think it is easier to stick to the budget on a cash only sytem?
We don’t currently get the newspaper so I don’t clip coupons, the only ones we have had in the past are mostly things I do not routinely use such as prepackaged foods.
ALSO–(sorry random comments–getting them all in while I have a sec) my sister and I are BOTH now making our own laundry soap and so far it is great! Thanks for the idea!
I love all these awesome tips!!
Drama Queens – I also shop at the ‘ghetto’ store – in our area it is called Shopper’s Food Warehouse. I don’t buy meat there though unless it’s a recognized brand name!! However a lot of their stuff is cheaper than elsewhere, about 30% less. I used to shop there all the time before Ryan was diagnosed.
Recently, I realized that sale items and BOGO items at other stores are cheaper than at SFW. That is why I started going to more stores.
To answer your question – I guess you could go the cash system route. It certainly forces you to stick to the budget. 🙂
However, I find it easier to stick to my budget when I plan my menu at the beginning of the week and like others are saying, use up the leftovers either with a leftover night (ours is saturday) or in another recipe (left over rice goes great in any soup i am making that week). I have also been known to freeze portions of leftovers for another week.
I know I am late to comment on this post, but this topic is one of my favorites. Also, I don’t think I’ve ever commented on here before, but I’ve been following your story since Ryan’s birth (I think) and I ADORE your kids. So cute and precious and you are a fabulous mommy!
My husband and I have been married for almost 10 years (in June it will be) and we JUST started living on a budget back in May. We use cash for the things we have a tendency to overspend on (groceries is a HUGE part of that) and it’s been a LIFESAVER for our marriage. We don’t argue about money at all anymore, we look at the budget on the 1st of every month so we know what we are going to spend where. I’ve been slacking this month on bargain shopping but this weekend I only had 42 dollars left for the month and I needed to get to the store for the meals for this next week–I did it! I spent $42 for a week’s worth of groceries to feed 5 people (me, DH, 2 boys (ages almost 6 and almost 2) and my sister). I didn’t buy anything ‘extra’ food wise and it felt great! Makes me feel so proud when I have money left over each month OR when I stretch it as far as I can. Thanks for this post. The comments gave me a lot of ideas!!
Drama Queens- I have a few crazy coupon clipping friends who go to gas stations and convenience stores on Sunday night and ask if they can have the circulars before they throw the Sunday paper out. Just a thought.
It’s me, anonymous again. I just saw here that I can sign in with my google account – so I am officially unmasked!
I would have responded to your response sooner but have just had my wisdom teeth out so have been out of commission.
Anyway, your response just proves that everything I believe about you to be true is in fact true- you are such a gracious person and I’m so glad to hear that you have a week of R&R to look forward to. Sorry if I misjudged your situation – my heart just aches for you for all that you go through, and it didn’t necessarily seem (just based on those few things in the blog) that you were getting all the support in the world, which you deserve. I’m glad to hear that Henry lightens your load.
I still pray for Ryan and for all of you every day. There is so much spirit in his little eyes and I hope he has a long, happy, and healthy life.