I’m not an expert when it comes to moving to a new town. Growing up I lived in one house for the first twelve years of my life and another house for the next seven years before I moved out to marry Henry. My family moved just that once and although it was to a new town I took my best friend with me. We met as infants in the school nursery. Her mother worked in the nursery that took care of the teachers’ babies. My mom taught high school math. Our educational paths continued in parallel but we didn’t really start hanging out until the third grade when a boy named Jerry told Mandy she should do reconnaissance for him. I didn’t know this until later… much later. But I’m grateful for his interest since Mandy and I were inseparable for the next three years until we informed each other we wouldn’t be in school the following year. Imagine our surprise when both of us showed up in the same town and the same school as each other the following year even though our families had moved over sixty miles from our original houses.
Comments (13)
Making friends as a SAHM is the hardest!! When I moved from PA to TX, I didn’t know anyone and I was expecting my first baby. I couldn’t wait until she was born so I could join a playgroup and make friends 🙂 Now that she’s 3 1/2, I’m meeting other moms from her preschool and have found 2 really close friends. But I can see how difficult it is keeping in touch with even these local friends because our kids and households keep us so busy! I’m glad you have enough sisters to fill your week with phone calls 🙂 And it’s also a blessing that you’re close enough to family that you can take a long weekend if you really need it!!
Can you start a club in your home for SAHM in your area?
I am a SAHM, too. And we’ve moved several times since my first child was born (12 years ago!). You are right, it does take time, and in many ways its kind of like dating. First you have coffee (or tea), then maybe a lunch or two. In my experience it takes about 2 years to really feel plugged into a community (and not like the newcomer) and find your “village” of friends! And it’s always worth the wait — new friends are like surprise packages, you never know where they may lead you! Keep doing what you are doing — friendship is a gradual thing.
I needed your blog today. My husband and I are contemplating moving and I’ve lived in this town for the past 47 years.. And we are talking a move 820 miles away. I’m scared, and God does not give us a spirit of fear but boy does this make my tummy go up and down and up and down…. I pray that you will meet some sweet ladies and I pray that if we move that we will be able to make some friends where we go.. If not I’ll be happy as a clam with my hubby and my two dachshunds!
I can imagine it would be tough. We moved just 30 mins from my hometown to be closer to my husbands job and a better school district and I still feel a bit like in outsider in our small town. Luckily all my childhood friends and family are such a short drive that it is not to bad. If you ever want to meet up for coffee or get our kids together I have two boys 1 & 3 one on either side of Ryan 🙂 Let me know we can not be far from one another! We live in Saxonburg about 20 minutes from Pittsburgh Mills mall, 30 minutes from Cranberry! 🙂
And this very issue is what makes me eternally grateful for bloggers who let me pretend to have friends, when the truth is I don’t, because like you said, who has time especially as the newcomer, so thank you for being my “friend” and I really hope you do find some friends in the flesh, try the library for a book club, maybe?
mj
i can’t imagine! i don’t even have time to be a friend to the friends i KNOW. i can’t imagine trying to make new ones! it will happen…
in the meantime, i’m here! 😉
Although I’m not a SAHM, I work from home and my kids go to school/daycare. We moved here, to a very small town, in the country… 6 years ago and I can say I have no friends except my blog and FB friends. Please tell me they count as real friends. 😉
It is very hard when the kids are doing things, have homework, and we are doing family things (gardening, playing outside, etc).
Hang in there ladies. We are friends even if it’s just on this page!
Making and/or keeping friends is not easy when you are raising a family. I work part-time – you think I would have time to nurture friendships from “before kids.” Nope. I have friends who are co-workers, but I see them only at work. Any other “Friends” are parents of my kids’ friends. Our personal friends have kids who are different ages/stages, too, and we’re all busy with various schedules, etc.
So hang in there and give yourself more time. Did you find a church home yet? That will help, too. Wish I could recommend a good church for you, but I’m no longer in Pittsburgh, and my parents’ church is really really small with hardly anyone your age in it. Hmmm
God bless!
@anonymous: we did find a church and hope to join a small group soon.
and to the rest of you – yes, i have lots of friends through this blog. Many times when Ryan was in the hospital it was the comments and prayers of those reading who kept my spirits lifted. I consider each of you a friend and look forward to hearing from you each day.
Right there with you sister.
I, like you, lived in the same town on the same street all through my childhood. My grandparents lived down the street, my aunt and uncle across the street. I married my HS sweetheart and in the next 20 years moved 16 times. Moving is challenging, but forces you to grow. I started out very shy and introverted….now I can and will talk to anyone and find common ground. As a mom I always found my main focus upon moving was settling our 3 kids in. I found new doctors, dentists, scout troops, music teachers, and sport activities for the kids. When all of that busy work was done and the kids were settling in nicely I would look around and realize I was the one with no “plan”. It will come for you, but you are now at that place after your move, and it feels lonely and you miss “home” and old friends. Tincture of time is what you need. Just wanted you to know what you are feeling now is kind of normal and there are those of us who can really relate to where you are. Be kind to yourself.
this will be me soon and I will be calling you for help 🙂 Wish I could come hang out with you there… and hug on the little boy of yours!!!! Maybe next time I am in the states we can swing through Pittsburgh!!!