Wednesday morning was rough. I hadn’t slept much. Ryan coughed almost non-stop through the night. Although he seemed to be resting through it, I was up giving him an antihistamine and making sure he was still in an inclined position on his pillow pets. When Henry’s alarm went off I felt like I’d been hit by a big ole Mack truck.
Soon the kids were up and we all moved downstairs to eat… Ryan fussed as I put him in his chair. “I have to make Natalie’s lunch, Ryan. I can’t hold you right now.” He looked at me moaning but acquiesced. He ate two bowls of Cheerios.
My plan was to work out with Jillian Michaels since I clearly couldn’t take Ryan to the Y. I headed upstairs to put on appropriate attire. When we entered my room (I was now holding him) he pointed and said, “Bed.” “You want to take a nap?” I asked and set him on my bed. “Mom. Bed,” he said. I crawled up beside him. He quietly curled up in my lap and tried to fall asleep through his hacking cough. We laid in my bed for about an hour. Ainsley was bored and jealous. I’d been away for a long weekend with my sister and had only returned the day before. She wanted to play.
Sometime around 10 a.m. Ryan said, “potty.” I sat him on the pot. He moaned and tried to lay his head on my lap, but my lap was too far away since I was sitting on the floor beside his elevated body. “Ryan, you can’t lay on me. Just go potty and then we can rest again.” He continued trying to lay down so I put my head to his chest to support his body. It was then I heard a very strange sound… much like a train coming swiftly down a track. “chuga-chuga-chuga-chuga” Writing can’t do it justice. Let’s just say for a moment I wasn’t sure what it was… then my brain clicked in and I realized it was his heartbeat. It sounded nothing like a heartbeat it was going so fast. I lifted his shirt and looked at his heart beating wildly in his chest. “Ains – go get my phone, quick!”
The pediatrician felt we should see the cardiologist or go to the ER immediately. They placed the call for me while I took a speedy shower and made some calls to get Ainsley a playdate and way to school. The nurse called back to say the cardiologist would see us right away, but that he didn’t want me to take my time. In other words, come NOW.
I’m not going to lie, my adrenaline was pumping. We’ve never had an emergency situation at home where I had to take Ryan to the doctor. There was once when he had just come home that I thought he might be in distress, but Dr. Kanter was the doctor on call and he talked me off the cliff. But Wednesday there really was a reason for concern. They were actually telling me my fear was valid. I was scared. On the brink of panic and tears, put-one-foot-in-front-of-the-other-as-fast-as-I-can mode. Just do the next thing.
As an afterthought I grabbed my bag (that was still packed) from my trip to my sister’s just in case we had to stay overnight. Once-worn clothes are better than none. Running to the car grabbing my camera ran through my mind but I rebuked myself for thinking of documenting at a time like this. In hindsight, I wish I would’ve taken the 20 seconds to grab it. There were so many cute moments in the last 6 days.
I thought about what I would tell the officer if I was pulled over for speeding (I really wasn’t going that fast, but I was passing a lot of people – these Pittsburgh folks take their time getting places, I’ve noticed.) I wondered if I’d actually pull over or make the cop follow me the entire way to the hospital. I thought about how smart it would be to make a sign to keep in my car that read “Medical Emergency, meet me at Children’s” but I’m not sure how well that would work.
By the time we reached cardiology Ryan’s heart was visibly slower, but still beating faster than normal (150 bpm vs. 100-120 bpm). The cardiologist wasn’t concerned about the heartrate, but was concerned Ryan’s sats were hovering in the 50s. I didn’t believe the machine… they’re known for inaccurate reads, especially below 65. But Dr. Beerman wanted to be safe rather than sorry. He sent us to admissions who sent us to the heart floor where we stayed for the next 5 nights waiting for Ryan’s sats to come back to baseline.
Like I said before this was our first real emergency – run from home – unexpected admittance. Thankfully the stay was short. There are many families who are in this situation for weeks, even months.
I’d like to say Henry and I handled it smoothly. I’d like to say we were supportive of each other and didn’t snap while trying to figure out logistics for work, school, hospital needs and caring for the girls. Instead there was tension… nothing too heated, but definitely expectations on both our parts of what should happen and how. I’m guessing this is normal, especially given our entire network of family and friends are now 3-4 hours away. I’m saying all this because I want to remember that by the end of Ryan’s six-day stay, Henry and I had worked out the kinks. We’d figured out a way to see each other’s side of things and work a plan we felt prioritized the kids. (clean underwear is overrated anyway)
Um, okay. Not sure how to end this. I will say that marriage and parenting are never-ending learning experiences. Just when you think you have things figured out, something happens exposing another area that needs tweaked. So happy tweaking folks.
And to my hubby – there’s no one else I’d rather tweak with.
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(c) 2016 Leighann Marquiss
Comments (6)
wow, i haven’t looked at your blog for the last couple of weeks due to travel out of the country (no internet) followed by a lovely week of illness combined with too much work!
all i can say is, YIKES. i am sorry you have had to go through so much stress, individually and as a family. i am praying for ryan’s full recovery and for your peace in this stressful time.
hugs
ashley
so glad you’re home! and i can’t imagine the stress that was involved! and all of a sudden!
I am so glad Mr. Ryan is home and doing well. Sometimes in stressful situations and emotions are running higher then normal it does get a little blurry trying to see your mates side of things. I am so very guilty of this. You are so blessed to have a hubby that will work out the kinks with you instead of digging heals in. You are truley blessed with a great family.
Praise God He always has it all under control….He is so good to all of us. Love you.
I wish you didn’t have to go through things like that. I know it must have been so frightening.
I am thankful that you made it through…and that Ryan is doing better.
You are so strong! (You may not feel strong at times…but I admire you…and Henry so much…and you have been through some tough times.) I know God has walked with you through this journey…and that by His grace you have made it this far. He will continue to guide you and to strengthen you Leighann. Just keep clinging to Him….and to each other.
Love, Linda
Wow. I cant imagine that stress and fear. praying for you guys! I hope its quiet for a long time now.