{self esteem} Are you allowing others to determine your worth?

March 27, 2016/Coaching

self esteem

The last few weeks we’ve talked about mindset – how it’s okay to change your mind. Growth and maturity lead us to discover new information and without the humility to say we’re wrong, we stagnate. It is okay, folks, to learn. You heard it here first!

We talked about how life isn’t about seeking after happiness. That happiness is as elusive as the Holy Grail when sought after on its own. How happiness is a byproduct of how we live out our lives with purpose (I believe) to impact the world around us with the gifts and abilities God has given us.

And we talked about perfectionism. How striving for perfectionism leaves us as “spiritual Pharisees and emotional neurotics.” (Pharisees – the religious leaders during Jesus’ time who focused more on a person’s behavior than on a person’s relationship with God.)

Today, this Easter morning, I want to talk about worth and where we get it.

Robert McGee, best selling author of The Search for Significance,  says that people determine their worth one of two ways: through performance or relationship. Some people are constantly achieving to prove to the world how amazing they are. Others place an inordinate amount weight on how others feel about them, or respond to them; and are constantly trying to connect with people on a level where they feel like the world likes them – – they are good enough to love.

Today, I want us to think of a third way to find our worth. And that is through the love of Jesus Christ. The Bible teaches us that God sent His only son, Jesus, to the earth to die for us. It sounds kind of hokey, like aliens invading from outer space, but hear me out.

The God of the universe created us so that He could have genuine relationship with beings that wanted to have a relationship with Him, beings with free will unlike the angels in heaven.

Because God is all good, He cannot be around sin, so when the first man and woman sinned, He knew the only way to restore the relationship so He could commune with humankind again was to send his perfect son, Jesus, to wipe out everyone’s sin on the cross.

Many people think the point of the cross was because of the sin – – God hated the sin. The reality is the point of the cross is so that He can be with us again. It’s the ultimate love story of a God who loves his children so much he’s willing to do anything to sit and talk with them. (I wrote about it here.)

We get our worth from the fact that we were created by God to be loved by Him. Nothing more, nothing less. It seems so simple, but it’s the most profound thing in the world to realize you don’t have to prove anything…. it’s already set in stone. You were worth it before you breathed one breath, before you won a single trophy, before you aced a single test. You were worth it before the fancy car, before the beautiful house, before the beautiful clothes and the beautiful hair. You could earn all the money in the world or the least – – it doesn’t matter a speck to God. He loved you from before the formation of the world and He wants you to know His love now.

Author and teacher, Jennie Allen said it best when she said, “When you have nothing to protect (your ego) and nothing to prove (your worth), you will taste freedom for the first time in your life. If you want freedom, stop trying so hard.” (parenthetical additions mine)

Stop trying to prove you are worth it enough for someone to pay attention to, that you are worth it enough for someone to stick around for, that you are worth it enough for someone to show up day after day after day and make you feel something akin to worthy and lovable.

You are already worthy and lovable. You were worth it long ago when Christ hung on the cross and rose again so that He could spend an eternity telling you how amazing you are and you could spend an eternity grateful for His goodness.

That’s it. That’s all. You are worth it. You are loved. When you believe it, the freedom and peace you feel is indescribable.

If this makes absolutely no sense to you, or sparked questions, please feel free to email or Facebook me. I’d love to continue this conversation about how you are beyond worthy to God.

Comments (1)

  • Linda Hogeland / March 28, 2016 / Reply

    Leighann…What a good reminder of why Christ came, and how much He loves us…just as we are!

    We humans do get caught up with trying to earn favor and love! John 3:16, the verse we learned as children, says it in a nutshell!
    For God so loved the world that he gave his only begotten son, that whosoever believeth in Him shall not perish, but have everlasting life.

    Nothing we can do to earn it…he loved us from the very beginning!
    That is so amazing!

    Thanks for this reminder!
    I hope you and Henry and the kids had a wonderful Easter!
    He is Risen!

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(c) 2016 Leighann Marquiss