From a year ago….
23 Weeks and counting – November 5, 2008
Where did the time go? Last night Henry asked me how far along I am. I answered 23 weeks. “wow,” I said, “that means there’s only 17 weeks to go.” Then it hit me, they are talking about taking the baby 2 weeks early, that means 15 weeks to go. Ok, that’s gonna go by quickly and then life will be turned upside down. Anticipating baby boy will live, I’m thinking of all the things that will have to happen once this baby is born. Pumping, visits to the hospital, logistics for the girls, living away from my baby and always feeling like the girls aren’t getting what they need. It’s going to be a long, hard road. I’m not ready, but it’s certainly better than the alternative.
Update:
Pumping – still pumping! every three and half hours or so. I can’t believe it’s been eight and half months. People are starting to comment about what a great thing I’m doing and I’m starting to relate to all those people you see on t.v. who are called heroes. Honestly, it’s just something on my To Do list. I do it, don’t think much about it. There are a lot of moms out there who would and do the same thing every day. No kudos necessary.
Visits to the hospital – Driving to the hospital almost every day is taking its toll. I am a stay at home mom who now commutes to her job. The silver lining is I am now more educated on the 1,990 pages of the proposed house bill on health care and the war in Afghanistan.
Logistics with the girls – With the start of school, logistics are a bit better. They have a designated place to be Monday, Wednesday and Friday. And now, with their being allowed back in the hospital, it will be easier.
Living away from my baby – This has to be the toughest part of this whole thing. I miss Ryan. I miss holding him. I miss taking care of him. I’ve had to release control of his nurturing right now and it is difficult.
Meeting the needs of everyone – This is impossible. We are coping and that’s all I can ask for right now.
Comments (7)
I don’t know you… but I follow your blog and I pray for your sweet baby boy. I am also a NICU mom and living through some of the same things… and I have to say that you are a hero! I am still pumping after 4 months, and it is a pain. I have cut back to pumping 5 times a day (sleeping through the night and then pumping every 3 1/2 hours. So after 8 months, for you to still be pumping… you are my hero!
Keep up the amazing work… and know that you are being lifted up!
Bless your heart. As my dear mother (God bless her memory) would say, “You can only do your best”. That has carried me through many a tough day since she’s gone.
How many times when she was still living and I was in a tizzy or overwhelmed with things in life that she would say, “You can only do your best”. It would bring a calm to me.
And so, dear girl, you can only do your best. God will take care of the rest. And He does.
I have to say I agree with ‘Just a gramma’s comment “You can only do your best and God will do the rest.”
Life is hard sometimes but what is amazing about it is how wonderful our God is because He truly pulls through for us.
Here’s an energy smile for you: 🙂
You are doing a wonderful job. You can’t always see it when you are in the middle of it. But us folks that are looking from the outside in are truly amazed with your strength and preserverence. I love and admire you for how you have handled life and the lemons it has thrown you. You are one of my heroes. Keep it up.
Love you.
You are doing amazingly well. And so is Ryan!
thanks for the update!!!
crazy how much you thought of before it happened. I bet it’s still hard actually living it vs. just thinking about the future.