The Fourth, Remembered

Here are some random thoughts from our fourth of July weekend… in no particular order.

1) I have an irrational fear of my children being near water. It started when Natalie was born. My heart palpitated every time I drove over a bridge. I would white-knuckle it across, the whole time thinking of what I would do if for some unknown reason my car skidded out of control over the concrete barrier and into the water.

It doesn’t stop with bridges. I also get heart palpitations when I think of taking them on a boat, on a lake, on a pond. The only water I don’t have fear of is sprinklers, baths, and the pool (although I am hypervigilant with them at the pool).

All that to say, we took the girls on a paddleboat on Saturday. As the little man pushed us away from the dock and stood there waving at our happy little family, I whispered, “Deep breath, no big deal. Stop palpitating little heart.”

The good news is… no one drowned, no one fell in and everyone had fun. The girls were ready to head back after about five minutes. However, as I told Ainsley, “We paid $20 to rent this boat and we are staying out here the full 30 minutes whether we like it or not!”

2) Henry was spinning the girls like you’ve seen many adults do with kids before…. you know, when you spin in a circle holding their arms and letting their legs fly out like a helicopter. Well, I got this great idea that I wanted to be spun. I remember how great a feeling it was to lift off the ground and feel the air beneath my body. So I said, “Hey guys, wanna see daddy fly mommy?” Everyone was game so Henry and I locked wrists and took off in a circle.

I’m going to be honest. It wasn’t that fun. When you’re a hundred pounds heavier than you were as a five year old and twice the length, centrifical force doesn’t work so well. Henry’s a trooper and a very tall, strong man, but I didn’t really fly that high. Gravity has a way of catching up with us when we aren’t looking. As it is, Henry’s happy his shoulder sockets didn’t snap like they threatened to and I’m happy my wrist joints are still in tact.

3) We spent the night at my mom’s house after watching fireworks. Not quite ready for bed, Henry and I sat out on the front steps enjoying the incredible weather. We were just sitting there, not really talking about anything in particular when we started doing the most random thing… measuring ourselves with a glow necklace.

Don’t say anything – I know it’s weird. Let’s just keep this between the 200 of us, shall we?

But it’s interesting too. For example, the glow necklace just barely fit over my head, and of course didn’t fit over Henry’s at all. It just made him look like a techno olympiad. We found out his bicep is almost the exact size of his calf, both of which are bigger than my neck. His neck is massive – but we already knew that – and is actually bigger than my thigh which we didn’t know already. The glow necklace fits all the way around my back and around the sides of my ribs, but doesn’t really cover much of my front. When measuring his girth, the glow necklace got lost somewhere between his shoulder blades and armpits. The funniest thing is how serious he was about these measurements. At one point Henry said, “No don’t measure from that side because it’s not as accurate.” Right, riiiigggghhht…. because measuring with a glow necklace is extremely accurate in the first place.

4) My mom and brother drove in as we were measuring wrists and then it really got interesting. No, we didn’t measure them, but we did notice they were a little bubbly. Okay, a lot bubbly. For those who are wondering if the hub-bub surrounding the “5-Hour Energy” drink is accurate, let me confirm it for you here. My mom and brother s-p-l-i-t a 5-hour eneryg drink, meaning really, they had a 2 1/2 – hour energy drink FOUR hours before arriving in the driveway. They were running circles around us for about an hour and half after they got home. The drink is so effective, it’s contagious. Henry and I caught their bubbliness (is that a word?) and stayed up with them until nearly 1:30 in the morning. We laughed as my mom and brother did jigs in the driveway, jumping jacks, yoga poses (well, tried to do yoga poses), and many more interesting tricks. They were so loud I was afraid they would wake my kids.

And it’s no wonder. Has anyone ever read the ingredients? The drink has 2000% of the daily recommended amount of vitamin B6 and 8333% of the daily recommended B12 vitamin. (The B vitamins are the energy boosting ones.) Additionally, there is 1870mg of what they call the ‘energy blend’ which of course includes caffeine. It claims to ‘last for hours’ and wow, as I was laying down to go to sleep a little before 2 a.m. I decided that was the understatement of the year. Thank God my children slept in until 8 a.m.

5) And speaking of sleep, has anyone else ever notice how quickly kids can fall asleep? We were in the car after the fireworks and Natalie and Ainsely were both talking up a storm, and not a good kind either. The kind that sounds like “are we there yet? Move, daddy, move! and I want to be at grandma’s house now!” We’d about had it when we finally got out of traffic and onto the open road. I realized it was suddenly quiet and looked back to see both girls were out. They literally talked up until they fell asleep.

It was like, “daddy, can you roll my window….zzzz.” They didn’t even finish their sentences or drift off. Henry said it was like they ran out of batteries, but for that to happen, they would have had to start speaking slower and slower with a lower voice and then one that sounded like they were speaking ‘orca’. But no, I’d say it is more like a power button. They are all the way on, full power until someone just flips them off. Unfortunately, I don’t have control over the power button.

What did your family do for the fourth?