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Dear Ryan,
You showed me the face of God. I’ll never forget the day the doctor told me you had a heart defect. And I’ll never forget the day God challenged me to trust Him to take care of you. I’ve never had to let something go so fully as I had to let you go. But I gave you over to the One who created you. There’s no better place to be.
You are one of the happiest children I know. Your smile, which appears often, lights up the room and makes everyone you come in contact with smile in return. So many people have commented that they get a special feeling when meeting you – and this is before knowing you are a walking miracle. Use your charisma to share what God has done for you.
You love music. You’ve started singing throughout your day: in the car and while you’re playing. Your two current favorites are “I Give My Life to Jesus” from Patch the Pirate and “Shake it Out” by Florence and the Machines. You have very eclectic taste in music, what can I say?
You’re really starting to learn how to play. You love throwing balls, sword fighting, and pretending to be a pirate (“Ay, matey!”) or a Musketeer. Your favorite movies are Cars and the Leap Frog series. You tell me The Incredibles is too scary, yet you know the names of all the characters and love pointing them out.
You love games. You ask me to play one with you ALL THE TIME! Your favorites are Candyland and Disney’s Pictionary Junior.
You are still quite young, but your mind is quick. You are smart, very smart. You absorbs information like a sponge does water. You can be anything you set your mind to be.
More than anyone, Ryan, you know what it’s like to struggle. You’ve fought for your life since the moment you took your first breath. You are an incredible warrior. My biggest fear as you grow is that you’ll come to resent your special heart and all the attention you get for it. It does not define who you are. You are more than the first survivor of your combination of birth defects. More than mommy and daddy’s only son.
I pray that as you grow older you’ll come to understand God’s love for you. He shows this not only by what He did to sustain your life here on earth, but by what He did to give you a chance to live with Him for eternity. Seek Him first.
I love you very, very much.
Love, Mommy
