Y’all, this four thing is hard. Hard I tell you. I thought I didn’t have time to sit down before. Now I don’t have time to eat. I’m either making lunches or breakfast for the three older ones or feeding the 4 month old. By the time I realize I haven’t had breakfast, it’s time for lunch. And what’s with my school-aged children forgetting their lunches lately? Three trips to school in the last two weeks and they’ve only had school for six of those days. Hmmm, seems like an epidemic to me. When I was in school if we forgot our lunch it was tough tushies for us. With a GF child (“gluten-free” for those of you lucky enough not to have allergies in your family!), it’s not as easy as assuming she’ll be able to order from the cafeteria. Besides, it seems like saying, “Oops, you forgot your lunch, I guess you’ll have to order” is a reward not a punishment. At least the school is only five minutes away.
You’d think that one more little person wouldn’t add that much, but bwahahahaha, my time has been zapped more than just a little. By the time she suckles my breasts and I change her die-die, it’s been at least a half hour. Times that out by four times a day and I’ve just lost two hours that I already don’t have. I’ve come up with solutions though. Ones that first time moms might cringe at, but don’t be all like “I’ll never do that!” because you wait…. YOU JUST WAIT!… unless you don’t want to wait. Or you’re sane and only have two children. (I could’ve done two so well. Why didn’t I stop? Waaaaa!)
For starters, when I had one I was soooo excited to change her little Pampers that I’d see the littlest bit of sogginess and whip out a fresh one. With four, I wait until that diaper is almost dripping before I dare change it. . One, mommy doesn’t have time to sit and wait for a baby to pee, and two, have you seen how much diapers cost these days?
I used to see one of my children gnawing on a 2-pound hunk of cheddar. “Hey,” I’d yell. “Don’t eat on the communal cheese block! That’s just gross!” Now I throw her a pack of crackers and call it lunch. Seriously. Checking it off the list now.
Speaking of lists… you know how you cringed the first time you saw your toddler playing in the toilet? With the first, you run in, grab them, rush them to the sink where you scrub their tiny little hands. Now, with a gaggle of children, when I see the preschooler going for the toilet I remind him, “Honey, see that little brush in the corner? Swish it around a few times in the bowl for mommy, k?”
And vacations… Oh the bliss of when we’d sight-see all day and go a tiny bit out of our way to hit up a park or petting zoo…. I almost forget what it’s like to lounge in the sun and read a book…. an entire book… while out of town. In fact, I remember once I took seven books on a seven-day beach vacation and read every single one of them. Now I’m lucky to get through a TIME magazine in a week! What is it about vacations that means more work for mommy? Most our vacations are filled with activities planned around the 9 and under crowd, which means more petting zoos and parks than you can imagine.
Running a few quick errands? Ha! Kids don’t know the meaning of quick. I could get to the post office and back before my 5 yr old can find his shoes and socks and get them on. LITERALLY. The boy walked around the house the other day for 10 whole freakin’ minutes muttering about not having socks. For the love, for the love, for the love… they are in the basket in your room where we’ve kept them for the past 2.5 years!
When I had one baby, I switched off babysitting with a friend every week so we could have “me” time… I usually spent it getting a project done or running all the errands I could without lugging a child in a carrier. “I can’t get anything done!” we bemoaned. Now, I feel like I’m flying faster than the speed of light if I only have one measly child who sits contentedly in her carrier and doesn’t have to find her own socks and shoes. The speed of light. I can get so much done with only one child in tow. With four? Forgetaboutit.
Teenagers these days think “shut the front door” is a cool saying. What they don’t know is it was coined by a mother of four who said it 50 times a day – the number of times three children go in and out of the house while they’re playing in the yard after school. SHUT THE FRONT DOOR. I say it everyday and let me tell you, my kids don’t think I’m cool.
Most evenings by the time my husband walks in the door to eat his dinner, I’ve laughed, cried, and perspired my way through the day. I’ve held children’s hands, heads, and bodies since apparently the only chair available in the house is the one I’m sitting in nursing. No lie. Everyone piles up on mommy when the baby eats because it is the only time I’m unable to fight back. Even the cat joins in the party. I sit in my chair with four little bodies crammed in every square inch of my personal space and wonder what in the world is wrong with the other chair and couch positioned less than five feet from where we’re sitting.
He looks at me, smiles, and asks how my day went. I look at him with eyes half glazed over like a crazy woman and fire-breathe “Is it bedtime yet?” And I mean for me, not the kids.
Listen, ladies. If you’re thinking about adding to your brood I want you to lean in really close… be afraid, be very afraid. They smell weakness. They know you’re tired and outnumbered. They figure out you don’t have eyes in the back of your head and you’re stretched thin…. they will take advantage of you. I hear it gets better. One can only hope.
*This post, while true, is an attempt at humor. I love my kids… all four of them, and wouldn’t trade them for the world. For a slice of pie, maybe, but not the world.
Comments (10)
I love this!
lol I love it. I couldn’t imagine having 4 young kids but once I remarried and had steps, I can totally relate. All of ours are now 16 and above but there are days it seems they are once again all small, from one calling from college in WY telling us what he needs to another calling from college just down the road with his list of needs and wants, to being the taxi for the other 2 since they refuse to drive themselves. ha ha Yes it does get easier but then you miss them being little. Enjoy it while it last. All too soon they will be grown and gone like most of ours are and you will wonder where the time went and why the oldest refuses to come home from college and why they would rather spend time at their friend’s house.
What I really think you need now is a puppy! 😉
I loved this post….so true and real. The funniest part has to be the communal cheese block and throwing crackers in and calling it lunch. So funny how things change after kid #1.
Ain’t that the truth!! I have 5, very well spaced out mind you and we are still out numbered. Fianlly after years yes you read that right YEARS, hubby and I finally have our own bed!!! Sailor has finally taken to her own big girl bed and loves it, psst so do we.
I learned early on how to cook for an Army, sadly that is gonna hurt me when they start flying the coop. I usually put the kids clothes out the night before, put down their breakfast within reach for the next morning and sometimes can dictate from my comfy bed things they need to do to get out the door. I have 2 walker and I take 2, next year I will have 3 walkers (teen goes to Christian school) for learning reasons but I am looking forward to having more free time to spend in church and my womens ministry and work in our church cafe. Woo hoo maybe even read a few good books.
Dont sweat the small stuff, those kids even the tiny one can sniff out weakness in a second.
I feel your pain!
Hysterically funny. ‘For the love of…’
I know….so know.
I’m pretty sure I took the 18 month old (#4) to the 3 year olds tball practice last night with no shoes, mis match socks, and a crusty nose.
And her wet blanket that I thought she had accidentally got on the wet foor in the bathroom after baths? Yeah well I found her dunking it in the toliet the next day so I’m pretty sure the same thing had happened the night before. And, yeah I let her take it to bed. Because I mean it was just bath water right?
And did you know that foundation makes great finger paint? I mean it gave me 5 min to finish up dinner for the others and she had already dumped it all over the counter anyway. I have no idea when she learned to unscrew things.
Dinner in the bath tub? After 4 kids? Sure why not? It’s called multi tasking!
🙂
I know just what you are going through. I can tell you things do a get a little bit easier with time. They do grow up…sadly before you know it. You may not believe me right now but you will miss these days. My kids are now 18, 17, 14 and 8. I can’t believe how quickly time has gone by. I look back on their baby days though and think , “How in the world did I get through the day!” I can remember when I was 20 years old I took my then 4 year old, 3 year old and 1 year old on a 10 hour flight from Germany to the US. I think back to going through customs in the Atlanta airport with 4 large suitcases, 4 carry-ons, 3 car seats and 3 kids in tow. I was pushing a large luggage cart piled higher than I could see over, had the baby strapped on my front and a kid on my back with the 3rd one holding onto my shirt. I can laugh about it now but let me tell you back then it was far from funny. I wish i had a picture of it though. You would think that a mom struggling like that would bring offers of help but no. Don’t even get me started on going through security. I really must have been out of my mind. Especially since I did it several times while we were stationed overseas. HA! We added a 4th to our bunch when the older kids were 10, 9 and 6. There definitely were days when I couldn’t recall if I had eaten, brushed my teeth, showered or even used the bathroom. I literally was just trying to survive. I was very young, thousands of miles away from family and friends with a husband who worked 2 jobs (one of which was being a military member who could be called away at any time). As a 34 year old I can look back at my younger life now and see that it was definitely a whirlwind. i can’t imagine doing it now and I am thankful that I had my youthful energy to get me through it. HAHA! Things are easier these days as far as daily care of the kids go but it is harder in other ways. They still need you just in a different aspect. Trust me…you will get through this and one day you will get to use the bathroom by yourself, eat a meal that is still hot, sleep uninterrupted and finish a good book in a day or two rather than a year. Your day is coming and you just may not know what to do with all the extra time. Or, like me, you may just reminisce about the crazy days you had when your kids were young with tears in your eyes knowing it all went by so fast!
This picture of you in the airport makes me tired! And sweaty! It is crazy what we end up doing as moms to make it work.
Shut the front door. haha loved it.
and the cheese block thing… also I can imagine Ryan walking around the house looking for his shoes or socks. Maybe you guys should move to Chicago and then I’ll babysit and you can have “me” time 😉 (is it tempting at all?)
Makes you appreciate your mom, doesn’t it! 😉 I use to love coming to your house, loved all the craziness 😉