I realized lately how hard I work on a daily basis to attain some sort of level of ideal. I’m not a perfectionist, but I am bent on accomplishing. I’m not perfect, my house isn’t perfect, my kids aren’t perfect, but still, when I wake up at the beginning of each day, I look forward to achieving the ideal day. Deep inside I think that if I line up enough ideal days, with enough achievement and effort in each one, I can line up a pretty good, ideal life.
Finally got Piper’s outfit into a shadow box and onto the wall with the others.
Somehow after 19 years of being an adult, I’m still surprised when I can’t achieve the ideal.
I think what was hardest for me as the neuropsychologist was giving us her thoughts on Ryan’s cognitive, executive function was that it is in no way the ideal.
What’s hardest about watching my oldest daughter deal with ingrained, come-by-it-honest anxiety, is that it isn’t the ideal.
And if I’m honest with myself, some of the disappointments in my marriage come, not from trying for perfection, but certainly hoping for the ideal.
Henry’s always said I put too much pressure on myself. Pointed out things like, “who are you trying to impress?” or “why do you put so many arbitrary deadlines on yourself?” or “who are you competing against?”
… made the throw pillows and started a gallery wall in the master sitting area.
The answer to this has always been: the ideal.
I haven’t been one to try and be better than other people…. I’m always just trying to be my best self. And unfortunately, never really think I’m making the cut. There’s always room for improvement, right?
Lately I’ve been wondering…. been thinking there has to be a balance to all this madness. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with being goal oriented, but at some point, I’d like to enjoy some of what I’ve done.
I think it was a reader Heather who once suggested I look at all the things I’ve done in a day instead of all the things I haven’t. Changing my perspective to look for the good. I think I’m going to follow her advice!
Comments (3)
As a mom with 4 kids at home, I have a never ending laundry pile, floors to sweet things in general to do so we dont look like mini horders, and end up having our own reality show LOL. Then there are the things I want to do to make the home nice and pretty the way I have always wanted it you know like magazine pretty. Then there is the Prims class I teach (k-3rd grade grils) on wed, and you know you have to prep cause you know these little humans can spot a goof and will eat you alive (in a good way) oh and womans ministry and the planing and making sure each and every woman feels loved, enjoyed and beautiful and take the time to try to meet any of their needs, pray, pray, pray and everything that entails (wouldnt trade that for anything either) but sometimes I forget to include my husband or myself and in a year is it going to matter that I did not dust and polish, or I didnt have 3 kinds of dip at my meetings or I didnt have it all togther on a wed night. Too many times I get lost in the details trying to make everything look good, and too many times I have put too much pressure on myself and still feel like I have not done enough or done well. Oops off track again the long, short of it is it alll reminds me of the Martha, Martha story and if I am to cought up in the details or the busyness I put on myself I will miss the beautiful sunrise and sunsets the Lord has given us to enjoy.
Ha just sat down for my daily devo from Jesus calling, I want to share with you. For me this mornings it was a loud speaker. Been in a bit of a pity parts Just had another almost a month ago and just tired of being limited, but this reminded me its only temorary..Thank you Lord for the reminder.
Do not search for secuity in the world you inhabit. You tend to make mental checklists of things you need to do in order to gain control of your life. If only you could check everything off your list, you could relax and be at peace. But the more you work to accomplish that goal, the more things crop up on your list. The harder your try the more frustrated you become.
There is a better way to find security in this life. Instead of scrutinizing your checklist, focus your attention on My Presence with you. This continual contact with Me will keep you in My Peace. Moreover, I will will help your sort out what is important and what is not, what needs to be done now and what does not. Fix your eyes not on what is seen (your circumstnces) but on what is useen (My Presence).
You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in You-Isaiah 26:3 NKJV
So we fix our eyes not on what is seen but what is useen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal-2 Corinthians 4:18
Lisa,
thank you so much for this encouragement!