A few months ago I posted about the method we use for chores, allowance and money management with the girls. One thing we were having an issue getting across was that they didn’t need to spend their money immediately upon getting it into their grubby hands. As soon as they were paid on Friday the following conversation would take place:
Natalie: “Can we go to the store?”
Me: “Why?”
Natalie: “I need to buy something.”
Me: “What do you need to buy?”
Natalie: “I don’t know.”
I thought the problem would go away after a few weeks, but they kept it up for June and July. In August we went to Canada as a family and ended up doing the best thing we ever could have to get the concept of saving and spending across to the girls. Henry gave them $25 each at the beginning of the trip and said, “This is all the money you’re getting for the entire week. You can spend it on the first day, spread it throughout the week, or keep it til the end. It’s up to you, but you don’t get anymore. When it’s gone, it’s gone.”
If you know kids, you know that both girls wanted to spend the money the very first night of vacation in the very first store we entered. Natalie didn’t know what she wanted to buy, she just knew she wanted to buy something. Ainsley wanted to buy a $20 rainbow teddy bear that didn’t have one iota of Canada about it. In the middle of a tourist trap in Niagara Falls our kids got the following tips:
1. You need to wait 24 hours before making a large purchase (spending all your money in one place constitutes a large purchase)
2. Henry said to Natalie, “I can buy anything I want in this store. Anything. (Her eyes got really big.) You want to know why? Because I save my money for things I really want. I don’t spend it on the first thing I find so it’s still in my pocket.”
3. He went on to explain that the money in his pocket isn’t going anywhere… he can spend it tomorrow if he wants or the next day or the day after that.
After some whining and complaining (you said it was our money… you said we could buy whatever we want) Henry took a drastic measure. He said, “As your father, I’m vetoing any spending tonight. We’ll come back tomorrow and you can buy something if you want to.” Knowing they weren’t allowed to spend anything took a little of the anxiety away as the girls browsed the store. Natalie was dying to start a collection so we went around looking at her different options and discussing them in detail.
By the next day, the girls were much calmer and not as antsy to get to the shops. Natalie did remind us we promised we go back and we assured her that was still the plan. She decided to collect pins and Ainsley chose key chains. Those are the only purchases they made that day. Natalie also spent $5 at an arcade to buy extra tokens for her and her siblings (seriously, she shared her own tokens with Ains and Ry) after the ones we bought them ran out.
Throughout the week we noticed them really contemplating before making purchases and it ended up the only things they bought were for their collections. No more asking for random stuffed animals or expensive jewelry or fountain pens. The itch to spend was gone. They gained confidence in the fact that the money wasn’t going to fall through the hole it was burning in their pocket. They also learned the value of buying what you really like. At one point Natalie was hesitating to buy a pin from Toronto. Henry said, “In this case, we’re leaving tomorrow. We’re not coming back here. If you really want it, you should buy it now. There’s no extra time for thinking in this case.” She bought the pin and was happy she did.
Both girls came home with money left over and stuck in in their spending boxes. I think Natalie has spent $2 since then and Ainsley’s spent none. They’ve decided to save up to get a savings account.
If we hadn’t had given them a lump sum for our trip and if they hadn’t had the repetition of 7 days to practice, I’m not sure their spending anxiety would’ve cleared up. If you are trying to teach your kids responsible spending, I highly recommend doing it over a vacation. And let me know how it goes!
(c) 2016 Leighann Marquiss
Comments (4)
Wow!! Great advise! I will definitely pass that on to my daughter to use with HER children. Thank you!
what GREAT tips!!
I did this last November when we went to Disney World. It worked perfectly!
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