If I say, “Surely the darkness will overwhelm me, And the light around me will be night.” Even the darkness is not dark to Thee, And the night is as bright as the day. Darkness and light are alike to Thee.”
Psalm 139:11-12
The other weekend we lost Ryan. We had some friends up and between the two couples we have 7 kids. Somehow in the transfer from playing at the park and walking across the parking lot to a restaurant, we forgot Ryan. (I actually thought he was with us the whole time and walked back to the park, but he informed me that we left him there. Poor boy!)
At some point while waiting for our table, I realized I hadn’t seen Ryan for quite some time. 10 minutes? At least. I turned to my friend Katie and said, “Where’s Ryan?” We immediately began looking.
I walked to the edge of the patio and looked down at the older children who were studying the lily pads growing at the water’s edge. No Ryan. I called to them to ask if he’d been with them. Negative.
For a split second I looked at the five children playing by the pond, thinking about how I would have to leave them by the water’s edge without supervision to look for my son. A split second – and then I turned and walked very fast through the restaurant looking at every table for his sweet little face. Seeing if perhaps he was standing with elbow propped on a table, his chin in his hands watching his beloved Pirates on one of the tvs. He wasn’t there.
I made my way from the front of the place to the back. There was no sign of little boy blue. Henry and Kevin were at the bar watching the game. I asked if they’d see him. The look on Henry’s face told me “no.” His look of concern mirrored the seriousness in my own face as I searched every nook and cranny around the bar.
Bathrooms. We split up looking in each and met out front, my chest tightening with every minute. No little boy. Without many words, just phrases like, “Nothing.” We split again. I retraced my steps back through the restaurant to the back patio and by the water. I scanned the lake praying I wouldn’t see him in the water. Back out to the front, to the parking lot, hoping to spot his little white shirt bobbing through the cars. I thought about calling the police.
“Leighann! Katie’s got him!” Kevin yelled. He was weaving through the cars coming from the park where we’d just been playing. Ryan was at the park and Katie had him. That’s all I had to know for my heart to find peace. He’d been found!
As I had raced through the restaurant I couldn’t help but think of how Jesus leaves the 99 sheep safely grazing to search out the one who is lost (Matthew 18:12). I wonder if he has a split-second thought as he scans the safe ones, wondering as He turns to search if one of these will find themselves in trouble. If He does, I’m sure like me He only hesitates for second as His concern for the lost one drives His every action. He is compelled to find the one who is wandering. Compelled by love.
And then this morning I read this and it brought it all together for me, “If I say, ‘Surely the darkness will overwhelm me, and the light around me will be night.’ Even the darkness is not dark to Thee, and the night is as bright as the day. Darkness and light are alike to Thee.” And the verse before these: “And thy right hand will lay hold of me.”
It hit me afresh. Even in the darkest places, whether they be the depths of sin or the depths of despair, God is not afraid to go there to rescue me. Darkness doesn’t cause him anxiety like it does us. There’s nowhere I can sink to that the right hand of God can’t reach to pull me out. Hallelujah. Praise the King. He will sit with me in the darkness and lead me out when I’m ready to grasp His hand. Waiting ever so patiently, the Father is always there. For you and for me.
Comments (4)
Oh my gosh!!! When I first cought the first words and clicked link before I really read the teaser. I read we Lost Ryan, My heart squeezed and threatned to shatter as I held my breath and tried to read the words as the tears readied themselves to fall down my cheeks. I let out a long breath of relief when I read he was “Kid lost”. Whooooo.
I can just feel the fear in your words as you looked for Sir Ryan. I have felt that panic overwhelm me before fearing I would implode. My son had gotten out from my sisters apt and she didnt know it till I came home he was only 2, they found him by the pool thank you Jesus it was fenced in. The relief caused me to sob and sob and sob. As you said oout of the 99 sheep he WILL FIND THE ONE that has gone missing returing him to the family.
Father has always been with us in every situation we have ever walked thu waiting for us to lift up our arms so He could hold us while we walk. Father is a pure gentleman so He waits for us to reach out. Now that does not mean He does not step in when we can’t think of how to take that next step, He goes before us, He goes behind us, and He is always at out sides.
I have followed you guys for a long time and consider your family like an extended family like the cousins we never visit, but we pray for your family weekly, I pray and lift you up when I read your posts, and the one things that comes to mind as we dont know what to do or how to do things when they get rough and even when they are not rough, remeber GOD HAS GOT THIS.
thank you for this HOPEFUL truth!!!
So very glad Ryan is safe and sound….and so very thankful for those words my heart so desperately needed to hear. Funny how God works sometimes.
Wow! What a scary time! I lost Callen last year at a small fun land type park. I had volunteered to take my two boys and Kim’s boys and Vivian. “How hard can it be?” I asked my self, Cyrus will be in a stroller. Just turned my head for a couple seconds to ask a staff person to fix a machine for us and, BAM he was gone. I was petrified!! And everyone else seemed so calm about it! I couldn’t help but to think of all the crime shows I’ve watched, and all the pedophiles and similar creeps that linger in those places. I checked every dark corner and bathroom there was. And, yes, besides Cyrus, who I put on my hip, I left the other 99% to go find him. Turns out the little fella got curious and wanted to see what kind of games and such were outside! I don’t think he was scared until a wonderful, helpful staff person (who happened to be a big, tall black man) picked him up and brought him to me. I was never so relieved! From then on, I’ve thought kid leashes were underrated. Lol! 😉 Glad your little bot blue is safe and sound!!