We make choices every day from what you have for dinner to what to wear. We probably make 1000 choices a day without even thinking of it. But when it comes to things like time, money, and habits, we tend to downplay how much choice we have over the matter.
How many times have you said, “I don’t have time for that.” Or, “I can’t afford that.” Or, “It’s just the way I am.”
I’ve learned that time, money, and schedules are fluid and we have much more control than we give ourselves credit for.
Time
During the Corona Pandemic I learned how much my perspective of my own time needed a reset. At the beginning of the shut down, I thought “Two weeks. No big deal. It’s a vacation.” And proceeded to drop off all my routines and pretty much ignore any project on my list.
Then the shut down went to mandatory stay at home orders that kept getting extended.
School was called off. Church services went online and, thankfully, my major winter project was naturally winding down and then off my plate completely.
It’s always hard for me to work from home in the summer when the kids are here and now, add in schooling 2 littles ones. I realized the summer season of “taking a step back” was going to turn into half a year of no productivity and I couldn’t do it! I completely turned my own mindset on its head and brainstormed how I could make it work. (Link to a post about routines)
Fast forward a month – current and past clients were reaching out asking for help getting back on track. Everyone was feeling the same as I was… this was a new era and required new thinking. We had to look at the time we do have and get creative with how to implement routines that work. We had to believe it was possible and set about the hard work of disciplining ourselves to stick with new routines and rhythms. And it worked! We have way more time in our day than we realize, and if we are already maxed, we need to take a serious look at what we are doing and why.
Money
How often have you heard someone say (or maybe have said yourself) “I can’t afford that.” As someone who grew up wearing hand-me-downs and only getting new shoes at the start of school and Easter, I understand not having a lot of disposable income. Carry that forward to getting married at 18, while still in college and living on ramen noodles and I know what it means not to have a lot of money to spread around.
However, in that period of time in college, over 3 yrs of marriage and hovering at the poverty line income-wise, we managed to save enough money to take a trip abroad for one week. It took us three years of putting money away, but we did it. Do you know what we didn’t do?
- We didn’t pay for cable.
- We went down to being a one-car couple.
- We didn’t eat out very often.
- We gave ourselves a total of $5 each discretionary spending a month.
- Date night was the $4.95 movie rental at blockbuster and dinner at home (probably cheap pasta!)
- We had a very strict spending plan for clothes and shoes and household goods.
- I didn’t decorate our home the way I wanted to or saw others doing.
- We didn’t take on credit card debt.
- We didn’t buy things that we didn’t absolutely need.
- We stuck to a grocery budget.
And on and on and on. We were veeerrry regimented with our spending plan so that we could meet our financial goals and get on solid ground.
As we aged, graduated with degrees, and moved into professional careers, we started to loosen a bit and treat ourselves to more things. But we are still able to say “no” to ourselves frequently to maintain our financial peace.
When I’ve wanted something that isn’t in our budget, I’ve had to come up with strategic ways to generate the cash like,
- saying no to something I want right now that really doesn’t serve my goal and is simply an impulse buy or pampering item
- selling something I don’t use anymore
- taking on odd jobs that I don’t love but gets the money fast
- rethinking what I need in my life (such as unlimited data on my cell plan, cable, any subscriptions with a monthly fee, a designer item, etc)
- knowing what I’m spending my money on now and eliminate anything unnecessary
Here’s the thing, we don’t have to make these changes forever, just until we reach a goal. So for example, you want to hire a coach or take a vacation, how much money does it take? How can you rearrange the money you already have or utilize your current skills to get the money in a short amount of time?
This is what I mean by our money is more fluid than we realize. We all have a choice on how we spend it; however it takes getting up close and personal with yourself to make it happen purposefully.
Habits
I wish I had a nickel for every time someone said, “I can’t” or “it’s just the way I am” or “I really want to but…”
The reason we don’t take care of ourselves better, be more productive, have a cleaner house/car/office, write a book, or <insert your goal here> is because we’re unwilling to put in the hard work of parenting ourselves. We don’t have someone breathing down our backs so we let ourselves off the hook. We are responsible for us and inherently we don’t want to do things we don’t want to do. Period.
To be successful at anything we “want” we have to want it bad enough that we know it’s worth getting off our butts and doing.
Changing habits is hard. It requires discipline, determination and being able to tell ourselves ”no.”
BUT IT IS SO WORTH IT!
Here are some ways I’ve managed long-term change – these are personal examples but take what you can and apply it to your unique situation.
Eating
I’m sensitive to 9 different common ingredients in the American diet including gluten, dairy, eggs and oats. Think about your meals. I probably can’t eat them.
Making these dietary changes were hard (and still can be when I’m really wanting a crepe, granola and yogurt, or an omelette!!). But I know it’s important for my health to stick to the plan.
At first changing my eating was really, really difficult. My brain knew how to eat those others foods. I suddenly had to expend a lot of time and energy figuring out what I could eat, new recipes, and trying new foods. It took at least a month if not two before figuring out what to eat 3 times a day wasn’t time consuming or exhausting. Eating at restaurants was even worse.
However, now that I’ve RETRAINED my brain, I can eat most days without expending a lot of time and energy. Yes, my food is mostly made from scratch, but I have go-to recipes I can make in 30 minutes or less and I know what substitutes work in new ones But it took hard work to get here.
Ask yourself – what information do I take for granted that needs replaced with new information?
What’s the easiest way to get this new information?
Knowing this will be a time-consuming and possibly exhausting process, what tools can I use to get through the times I’m tempted not to follow through?
Routine
My morning routine is really important to me to feel grounded and focused for the rest of my day. I’m an introvert so that alone time is crucial to still loving and wanting to be around my kids!
I am not a morning person but having kids forced me to be up at all hours – including early mornings. As the kids have aged, they sleep longer and continuing to get up early – before them – gives me the quiet time I need.
Again, this took retraining my brain and body. One way I helped myself was by instilling natural accountability. Recently I was having a hard time getting up early so I scheduled early morning calls two mornings a week – this gave me a deadline for getting my workout in prior, and the accountability of having someone waiting for me. It helped not to be the only person to have expectations of myself. Now someone else was involved. It took the responsibility of policing myself off my shoulders. Happily – this worked! I came to this solution by asking what would give me a reason to get out of bed.
For you, ask the same – what would give me a deadline and accountability around what I’m trying to accomplish?
How do I place an outside force in the seat of task master?
What tools have I used before that have worked to help me stay the course?
These are just two examples but my guess is there are many more. The solution to many are consistently –
rethinking what’s possible, learning new information, using tools you’ve succeeded with before, and committing to follow through.
What goal has been on your list forever? Can you rethink your time, money or schedule to accomplish it this year?
(c) 2016 Leighann Marquiss