Seasons are a part of life, whether you live where it becomes fall, winter, spring, summer or dry, wet, hot… It’s all seasons. With the changing of seasons, comes changes to your time. Nothing marks the changing of the seasons more for moms than school starting or ending. If you remember my post about rearranging my schedule in summer, then you’ll appreciate knowing how I operate during the school year.
I once heard it said that September (or late August if you live in my neck of the woods) is the mother’s New Year. When the kids go off to be taught for six hours a day, everyone gets back into a stricter routine, and we moms tend to pull out our list of projects that we put on hold for the 11 weeks the kids ransacked the house and consumed food like the locust in Exodus.
Whether you work at home, out of the house, or you’re a stay-at-home mom, your schedule is affected by school starting up again. Even if you don’t have children or they’re out of the house, fall and winter bring a natural pull back to routine. Our brains are comfortable with this, much more so than the lazy days of summer, so it’s only natural we gravitate toward schedules and habits.
I’d like to say my routines are always wonderful – that I’m always on point. But that would make me a liar! The reality is that winter tends to bring hibernation for me. It’s a time where I’m not as likely to get up in the wee hours of the morning when darkness is still king or step out of my warm bed into the cold. I’m more likely to pull the covers more tightly over my shoulders and snuggle in for an extra hour of sleep. (This might mean that fall and spring are the most productive mornings for me! Ha!)
Not only does the tilt of the sun’s axis affect my rhythms, but so does the season of life I find myself in. I find it difficult to get up early when I have a nursing infant who is waking me up constantly in the night. I’ve learned to give myself grace during these maternal seasons and find other routines that work for my energy level.
But I’m done with nursing babies, so bring on the new fall season! Does anyone else’s body and soul respond to the crisp air and leaves turning glorious shades of orange, yellow and red? Mine does! So with a pep in my step and hope in my soul, I’ll send the kids packing for a day of education while I settle into my “in-school” schedule.
I’m a big believer in morning rituals. When I’m on top of my game and serious about my morning routine, I feel better about life, I respond to others better, and I get a whole lot of stuff done during the day.
When school is in, barring I don’t have a child who wakes up consistently in the night or I’m not battling illness, I try to get up before the kids wake up. Why? I’ll tell you why. When my day starts with others demand it means I’m not able to ground myself. There’s nothing more frustrating than opening your eyes to someone else’s needs. It’s putting their oxygen mask on before getting yours secured, if ya know what I mean. When the kids wake me up, it’s often so hectic so fast that it might be an hour before I go to the bathroom or grab something to eat, which makes this mama irritable.
Knowing this about myself (and apparently studies show other people feel the same way), I set my alarm for an hour before my littles are typically awake. Do they wake up earlier some days, yes, but this at least gives me a ½ hour on my bigs and an hour on my smalls.
During this hour, I focus on self-care. In short, self-care isn’t pampering oneself or having treats (so I’m not sitting in a silk robe eating cinnamon buns, although that sounds amazing). It’s participating in activities that alleviate stress. What’s important to my routine may not be important to yours, but I’ve found in many articles and books I’ve read about morning routines, there are things that are universally helpful and that I’ve incorporated into my morning.
Soul
The first is a time of quiet for my soul – this could be anything from meditating, journaling, praying, reading scripture, reading inspirational texts, or writing out what I’m grateful for. (The Five-Minute Journal is a great way to track gratefulness and can be set on your bedside table for in-bed journaling!) The point is to take time to be still. Giving our soul space to breathe is critical to staying well balanced. And for me, it gives me a perspective greater than my circumstances, allowing me to feel peace even in the midst of stressful life situations. In the winter when it’s still dark and cold, I wake up and read scripture, in bed, in the dark, on my phone. It’s a way of easing into my morning without sacrificing “me” time. I know others who download guided meditations onto their phones or do yoga poses in bed for 10 minutes – yes this is a thing! So get creative in how you feed your soul. If there’s a will, there’s a way.
Body
The second item is to get moving – whether that’s yoga or walking or an intense workout – getting your body moving helps get you mentally prepared for your day.
Body, Part 2
For me, taking a shower is imperative. Does it get done 365 days per year? No. There are a few days in the year I don’t take a shower, but unless something really crazy happens, I lather up every morning. I’ve never been that mom who uses dry shampoo or goes for days without showering. If that’s you, no judgment. You can take this off the list. For me, it’s a necessity to feel good in my skin for the day. Let me be me, and you do you, okay boo?
Mind
The third category is mental stimulation. I look over my goal list for the day, some people listen to inspirational or mentally stimulating podcasts or read something inspirational or educational. This may come later in my day; however, I start by stimulating my own mind by focusing on my daily/monthly goals. Having a goal out of sight means having a goal out of mind. There’s something about writing goals down and having them in front of you that helps you get them done. I encourage you to do this whether it’s on the Notes app on your phone, an actual piece of paper that you carry with you in a notebook or posted on the refrigerator. As long as it’s insight you increase your chances of getting it done.
And that’s it! If I can get those three things marked off my list before the kids and hubby are asking me to meet their needs, I feel a lot more productive and in charge of my day.
What not to do
Along with the idea of what to do in the morning, there should be a list of what not to do in the morning.
Reactive Activities
Don’t check your email first thing in the morning. There’s a difference between reactive and proactive tasks, and the longer you can postpone reactive tasks before doing your own routine, the better for your mental outlook. Reactive tasks are those that require a response from us to someone else. It’s when we let other people dictate what we need to do next.
Email is an example of this. When we check our email we are immediately distracted by what everybody wants whether it’s a sale at Zappos, a form to be signed by a school or sports activity, or something that somebody wants from you at work. We suddenly are in reactive mode. Our agenda has now been taken over by someone and we are no longer in the driver seat. This is not the way we want to start our day.
Consider this, if there was an emergency or someone was in dire straits, wouldn’t they call you instead of email you? When you go to pick your phone up in the morning you’re looking to connect – instead connect with your soul. Feed and nurture yourself. Put everyone else away for another 30 to 40 minutes. Don’t worry, they can wait and so can you! Feed yourself with the things that you need and the first is grounding your soul with the quiet activities above.
Focus on negative things
The second thing not to do in the morning is to read the news first thing. We want to start our day with good and positive feelings. Anyway, reading the news is simply reading headlines about political scandal, national infighting, another school shooting, and so on. Very rarely are we encouraged by the news. Why start our day on a negative note?
Reading the news is fine. But let’s just use the right time to do it. In fact, after you’ve done your morning ritual, you could read the news while you drink your morning beverage or get the kids out the door.
A great way to do it is with the Skimm app. It’s a free news app that shows up in your inbox Monday through Friday, excluding holidays. They break down daily headlines into chewable soundbites with links. If you want more info, click the links. If you’re good with the soundbite, move along. I use it to feel like I’m up on current events without spending a ton of time reading the paper (offline or online). As a busy mom and entrepreneur, I’ve found it very useful.
Fall into the comparison trap
The third thing not to do in the morning is pretty obvious and has been said before. Don’t get on social media. We’ve all heard that we feel increased feelings of loneliness and depression when we get on social media. I hope that isn’t true when you see my Facebook and Instagram accounts, but even if it’s not true, we need to stop looking at others before looking at ourselves and grounding ourselves for the day. We need to know what we think and what our goals are before we see what everyone else has or is achieving. When we are confident and sure in our goals, we feel more empowered. When we see what others are doing first, without understanding what we want, it’s depressing. So get off social media first thing!
And now, a disclaimer
I once heard about a naval officer who goes around the country speaking about how making your bed every morning can change your life. How it gives him a sense of accomplishment to take those 5 minutes to make his bed. His whole premise is if you want to be a productive member of society, making your bed in the morning will make you one.
BULL CRAP.
Making your bed doesn’t make you productive. It makes him feel productive. Making my bed doesn’t make me feel productive. If my bed is made it means that I had time on my hands that day. It means I wasn’t productive in getting my goals done, or my list was short, or I was taking the day off. For real.
I think the better point would be to find that thing, that one or two things, that makes YOU feel productive first thing in the morning so that you can keep that momentum during the day. So maybe taking a shower or making your bed doesn’t do it for you. But there’s something that makes you feel accomplished. What is it? Put it in the first hour of your day. And get up early if that’s what it takes to get it done. Set the tone as accessible each and every morning. For me, it’s working out and reading scripture before my kids want me. I can easily take a shower and eat breakfast when their peepy little eyeballs are open. Somehow though, trying to quietly read and exercise is so much less relaxing and affirming when I have one to four children calling my name or sitting on top of me.
So in closing, find that thing for you. Make a morning routine that fits you. How do you want your day to feel? How can you set the tone with your morning routine? What needs to change now that the season is changing?
You got this, you really do!
