My gift to you this Thanksgiving holiday.

I’m a little overwhelmed so I’m just going to dump it all on you!  I usually plan my blog posts in advance: a few days, a week… as they come to my mind I write them down in my notebook so I don’t forget. Sometimes they’re easy to figure out because we have something going on that I want to document.

The last few weeks have flown at me with such velocity that I’m hanging on for dear life. I had a panic attack last Monday night when I realized Thanksgiving was this week. We have a lot going on. And I ended up with a lot last week that was unplanned. My uncle – on my mother’s side – passed away from a heart attack that weekend. His funeral was Wednesday in upstate NY. I wanted to go. It meant farming out the girls and driving with Ryan 5 hours to NY on Tuesday night, going to the funeral on Wednesday, then driving the 5 hours home. It was hard on the boy, but I’m so glad I went.

I also found out my aunt – on my father’s side – the one who I spent a lot of time with as a child and who I’ve tried to visit every so often as an adult – is nearing the end of her life. I knew she was getting sicker, but thought I could put off visiting until after the holidays. I realized I should prioritize her and move other things around. Or skip things altogether. I did.

I left the kids with Henry on Saturday and drove the 4 hours across the state to spend a few hours with her (and my cousin, her daughter). I’m so glad I did. While the reason for my visit was heavy, the day was perfect. Time in the car without anyone but myself and an audio book… um, that’s a stay-at-home mother’s dream. I don’t remember the last time I had 8 hours of quiet time.  The visit was great too. Good conversation with my aunt…. about important things. Conversation about light things, too. Just conversation that was sweet.  And time with Bonni, doing something I’ve wanted to try and hope to share with you in a post soon….

Just perfect time together that I treasure.

These two visits on top of a Girl Scout meeting (I’m one of Ainsley’s troop leaders), a long doctor’s appointment for Ryan on Tuesday, and planning for this week. By Tuesday (yeah, it didn’t take long) I was sitting in my upstairs hallway crying… like sobbing crying… telling the Lord it was just too much. My sadness with my uncle and aunt, and the girls just wanting too much from me, everything I was supposed to accomplish in the next 14 days… I was up finding Natalie’s shoe because apparently I am the ONLY person in this house who can find anything. So I’m telling Him this life I lead is too hard and that I need Him to get it done for me. To do it for me. It took me back to the days of visiting Ryan in the hospital day after day and feeling stretched too thin to do anything well. And, of course, you know he did. I was able to get through the week, getting everything done I needed to, without the usual hiccups I face in these tasks. I think God knew I couldn’t deal with any additional hiccups.

Now we are in the week I had the panic attack about. It was too much for the notebook. It’s in there several times in different ways, but I had to revert to regular notebook paper and columns.

I’m not even going to mention the wonderful kale-sausage soup I made yesterday that ended up being full of little bugs (from the kale, i guess? even though I hand scrubbed each piece.) And the accident on the bathroom floor this morning.

Nope not even going to talk about them….

All this to say I may not be blogging over the Thanksgiving holiday. I have two Thanksgiving dinners, a wedding and a bridal shower. I hope you and your family have a wonderful Thanksgiving. I have a lot to be thankful for.  I know you do too!

Helping mommy find the nail polish remover aisle!