I spent a quiet day with Ryan. He was under the influence of a paralytic when I arrived and just at the end of getting an arterial line to get a more accurate read on his arterial blood gases. His oxygen saturation has been sitting low (in the 50s and 60s) the last few days according to the pulse ox probe but they can be temperamental and more inaccurate the closer the patient is to 65% o2. So, an arterial line gives the team easier access to arterial blood and a true reading on Ryan’s condition.
All those words to say I got there in time to see him sleeping and it pretty much took him my entire visit (into the late afternoon) for him to start moving again. I hear he woke up agitated after I left, but when I was there he was good as gold.
I am trying to patient and allow Ryan these few days to heal from the plication to see what is going on and what our next step is. His right lung is definitely expanded more and has more airflow post surgery so we are thankful for that. However, with his sats still sitting low we know there is more work to be done…. we have to wait and see what the team recommends in the next few days.
But to change the subject, I have a question. I would ask it to Dear Abby or Emily Post (or what’s-his-name, her son who recently wrote an etiquette book), but I don’t have the time to find their information and honestly I care more what you guys have to say. Okay, here goes.
I walk Ryan’s hospital halls a lot; and while I know the proper etiquette for meeting someone is to look them in the eye, stick out my hand, and tell them my name, I am in a quandary as to what the proper social etiquette is for passing someone in a hallway. Do I look them straight in the eye? And if so, for how long? Do I smile? And if so, teeth or no teeth? Do I nod? If I nod, do I also smile? If I’m supposed to look them in the eye, once I’ve done so where do I look next, straight ahead… to the side… at the floor? A hospital hallway can be quite long so you might see the person coming for 20 feet before you pass them. Looking someone in the eye for that long can get quite uncomfortable for both parties!
I notice people have different tactics. Some look at the ground the entire time you are approaching them. Some don’t look at the ground, but don’t really look at you either. They look straight ahead without veering to the left or right as if you weren’t there at all. Some nod or smile or both; and some even murmur a ‘hello’ or ‘good morning’ on their way past.
What do you do when passing a stranger in a hallway?
(c) 2016 Leighann Marquiss
Comments (19)
well, if it’s a long hallway, I usually wait until the middle to make eye contact and then I’ll say something like “hello.” But If I really don’t want to do anything I just make eye contact before we pass each other to acknowledge their presence. But I don’t really know, sometimes it can be so awkward.
Just look in between their eyebrows or at their nose. That way you don’t have to feel awkward about looking them directly in the eyes. That’s what I do anyway. And keep it real short and simple 🙂
When I was in the Hospital with my son I always tried to give everyone a smile and a hello if I could when I passed them. Some people feel so alone there and are going through so much. I tried to keep it very short, but just to let them know I saw them and wanted them to know I thought they were important enough to say hello to and to smile at.
Take a book with you so that you can read it while walking the hallways. this kills two birds with one stone- you can avoid awkward situations because you aren’t being rude you’re just busy AND you can catch up on reading.
you might think i’m kidding but i use this tactic often when i’m not in the mood for conversation.
love the fact that this even came up though and if i had to give a serious answer i’d say that that smiling at someone as you pass them is the best way to go.
katie
It truly depends on what frame of mind you are in….are you in labor? DON’T make eye contact! Did your son just receive a successful surgery (like mine did) LOOK AT ME! I’M LiL MISS SUNSHINE AND ALL IS WELL WITH THE WORLD! Did I just receive really really bad news? DON’T you DARE even glance in my direction. I’m making my way to the closest exit.
Point being: read a persons vibes before you approach them. Don’t assume that they are in the same mood that you are. Don’t assume that they want interaction. Eye contact and body language is a fabulous indicator of social interactions! Use a person’s vibe if you want to interact. And if you don’t want to interact but have to? Stare at their right ear. Interragators use this tatic quite a bit, it seems like you are intense and paying attention, but not in the wrong way.
I have actually had this same conversation with myself while walking the halls around the NICU when visiting Karsie!
I have decided, that if people feel anything like I have felt/still sometimes feel walking those halls that a kind word would be nice. I often look in the general direction of the people as I approach and then when I am within a close range, I look at them (eye contact) give a brief smile (not teethy) and a quiet “hello.”
If there is a ruckus going on around the people (as often happens in the children’s hospital) I tend to pass by without making my presence known… but if it is just one or two people passing on their way somewhere I often try to give them a pleasant encounter.
If there is sadness, my father often will ask people “how can I be praying for you.” He has had a few opportunities to do this at the hospital, and it has always been apparent that those people needed to hear that.
I am glad to hear that things went well with Ryan’s surgery. I know the stress well. I will continue to pray that he recovers full lung function and that his sats pick back up. Glad to hear also that he now has an art line so he doesn’t have to be poked as much. Enjoy the time with the pain meds before he wakes up more… it is so hard to see them in pain!
Praying for you!
Who cares about etiquette! I would acknowledge them, give the biggest smile I could and say Hi. Your interaction might be one of the only uplifting things in their day. Show God’s love to them!
Laurie
Sadly, today more and more people don’t want their “space” infringed upon. With that said, there are hurting people at hospitals & just being genuine and showing God’s love can brighten someone’s spirits. It is case by case, in my opinion. If there is much heartache, just a nod and smile can let you know they care. If the opportunity arises, a word of encouragement goes a long way.
i didn’t really read the comments…but i think it kind of depends- on how YOU are feeling, on how THEY seem to be feeling…you can tell a lot by observation.
but, for the most part, i’d wait til they are closer, look them in the eye and SMILE with a nice “Hi!” we can all use some kindness in our day!!!
praying for patience and answers for you guys!
Sometimes the hallways of the hospital can be a strange situation to be in. You don’t want to seem to cheery in case they are maybe having a more horrible day than you. I know how that goes!! I usually just give a little nod and smile and maybe say hello. Depends on the expression on their face. If I can tell they have had an awful day then I will barely smile and just keep going. If they look like they want to stop and talk, I will do that as well. I hope Ryan’s sats go back up but am glad that he is doing well.
Walk tall, shoulders back, put a smile on your face and say “Good Morning” or “Afternoon”… or at this time of year say “Merry Christmas” or best for last, “Hi I hope God has blessed you in some way today, I know he loves you”. You will not have to worry about saying anything else because they will be so stunned they will just keep walking. Much later they will share what you did with someone else and the blessing just keeps giving. It’s like the “Pass It On” One good deed leads to another…
I have this problem when I go running. Some runners want to be in their own world and ignore you and are bothered if you make them acknowledge your presence with a hello. Some smile and say hi and everything in between. I try to read each one and at least look their way in case they are friendly. I wish they were all the same, so I always knew what to do.
Just wistle so it looks like your doing something and maybe you can even brighten their day with a little tune :o)
When my daughter was small she was quite ill and when I wandered the halls I noticed that most of us would acknowledge one another or anyone else when we passed in the hallways. It was a smile that acknowledged pain and suffering in our lives and a connection that somehow ministered to our hearts as we walked through tough times. I think our hearts went out to one another, maybe that was because we all knew we weren’t at the hospital just to have fun but each of us had a concern and the smile acknowledged that and brought us together in our suffering and showed compassion.
Sometimes it led to words shared and our burdens lifted as we shared even briefly and heard someone else story and I know it eased my pain and gave me others to pray for, even though I never saw most of them again.
I wouldn’t stare at them the whole time, that might be creepy. I think I would acknowlege them from afar, and then when they are closer, nod my head and say hello with a no teeth smile.
Glad to hear Ryan is doing better…any talk of going home?
Does Santa visit your family at Christmas? Are the girls excited?
I do a lot of greeting people I don’t really know in the hallways at work. You can always tell when I know someone because as soon as I see them a ways off I wave (from the elbow not up in the air) and then greet then personally as I grow closer. I’m sure it doesn’t shock you that it’s often with a personal joke. I will generally pass about 5 people in the mean time. In the morning I always smile, look them in the eye and say “Good morning!” In the afternoon I say “Hello” or “Hi there!”. I usually walk like I am on the war path, so I am looking straight ahead, and smile as they make eye contact and greet them as I get closer. it’s one of the things I love at my job. Everyone greets one another. It’s actually a rule at work. When you walk the halls around 9am you hear tons of greetings flying through the air. I must greet people 200 times a day, I don’t even think about it anymore. It never hurts to “overgreet”. In fact, you might make someone’s day.
I have this problem at the hospital too. Anywhere else I smile but at the hospital I don’t know what to do. I guess I just do what everyone else does and read the person who I’m passing.
We’ve been in waiting rooms and testing rooms where other parents have been getting life changing news and I always feel very conscious about my facial expression and body awarness. When we were given our news our doctor was kind enough to take us out a back way.
So I think just do what you think is appropriate at the time and it will be ok.
I smile and say Hello, but I don’t look them in the eye for too long. You never know how much someone could use a friendly face at that very moment 🙂
Heidi
I just read a neat article in last year’s Dec. Reader’s Digest about a man who said “Hello” to everyone he met or wrote for a month. It was overall a positive and surprising experience for him. He did mention that he was less likely to get a response in difficult situations.
@Kristen–he had a great response on his normal run and/or bike path, mostly with those passing in cars.