I will never forget the time I walked into my friend’s house unexpectedly and saw dishes everywhere, mail piled on the counter, and odds and ends out of place. What brands it into my mind is the fact that I never saw her house messy before (and incidentally, never have seen it messy afterward). It was quite a shock!
I remember someone asking me some time later if my house was ever messy. Um…yeah. I mean, no, nooooo, my house is never messy. A friend who overheard our conversation commented, “I remember one time I came you had stuff all over your counter. You didn’t know anyone was coming.”
Well, that explains it! I didn’t know someone was coming. If I had, I would’ve scooped all the stuff off the counter and shoved it into my hutch and closed the doors. This action is a generational thing I think since I hear my grandmother’s way of straightening the house is to grab a box, fill it and place it in the back room. But back to the subject at hand.
Why is it that we don’t want others to see our mess? Does it mean we don’t really have it? Does it mean when our guests leave we still don’t have to deal with it? And what happens when instead of dealing with the mess, we ignore it and keep piling on the incoming junk mail?
It’s the same with our emotional junk. Why do we act as if we have things under control when in reality we are struggling? It doesn’t matter what we are struggling with… addiction, emotional turmoil, adjusting to a new baby, losing weight, having a son in the hospital. It seems we are slow to admit we are just not fine.
But do you know what happens when we do that? Our mess, whatever it may be, has control over us. It is only when we share our struggle with someone else that we start to take back control of the situation. It is only when we admit aloud to a supporter what is weighing us down that the weight lifts.
That is why community works. That is why groups like Weight Watchers and Alcoholics Anonymous work. That is why blogging works! We connect ourselves through our similar passions or struggles and we bear one another’s burdens.
And that is why bloggers feed on getting comments. Because it helps us to know that someone is reading our struggles (or triumphs) and supporting us. You rally us when we are down and virtually high-five us (or punch in for the youngins) when we are up.
Ok, so what’s my point? All this to say thank you for your comments. Don’t think I haven’t noticed. I read everyone of them and they bolster me. So thank you for responding to my tackless request to know who is out there. It truly makes my burden lighter.
Comments (24)
Here’s your virtual high five! 🙂
~K.C.
how in the world are you still so sweet and thoughtful with all you have going on??
I think I almost laughed out loud when you wrote of grandma shoving everything in a box and putting it in the back room…I do this all the time! Or I did anyway, till my recent move. My mom and I came to the conclusion that it skipped her and came to me from Grandma. So, funny! Anyway, I too love to share my feelings with others, and also usually feel much better after doing so. Maybe I should get myself one of these blogs…:) I continue to pray for you and your fam…and especially for Ryan. Love you! Richelle
Good post. Good thoughts. I hadn’t looked at it that way before.
thanks for the insight.
We blog fans are so glad to be of some help to you. You are truly a blessing to me. When my son was in the Hospital going through a bone marrow transplant I always could find someone who was going through so much worse than we were and tried to stay positive. Your positive attitude really uplifts me.
We are continually lifting you up in prayer.
are you kidding me! It is the least we can do…I wish I was there to do more. Did you know we will be there sometime in December or Nov… I want to come meet Ryan and the girls and give them big kisses!
high five and big hugs to you. Praying for ryan and you. I read your bog everyday. Our secret place to stash stuff is our room. we lock the door when people come over. love ya.
I don’t believe I’ve ever personally met you, but wow! Thank you for your post! I’ve been following it daily since Johanna told my husband and I about Ryan. We are praying for him and for you!
Again Thank you for your post today!
(((((to ryan and you)))))) from Paula S.
When people come over, we stash stuff in our bedroom . . . once we get 3 boxes or so I finally go through it all . . . we’ve “lost” some items before when we’ve forgotten we’ve stuffed papers upstairs!
And like someone else said, it is amazing you are so sweet and thoughtful when so much is going on! I often wonder how you keep it all together when I have trouble with just two little munchkins!
What a wonderful post, Leighann! It’s an honor to read about your ideas and your life. (Funny too, because we spent the day getting our house ready for a visit from our son’s new girlfriend! Lots of stuff stashed in the basement and garage You’ve given me a lot of think about regarding this visit.)So important for girls and women to use their voices- you’re a great role model for your girls!
Praying for you today and always!
Praying – for the long haul.
I admit, I’m a follower who almost never leaves comments (or sends e-mails — so sorry!) I often check in to see Ryan’s updates, and I love hearing about the girls, you and Henry. You’re an inspiration — the way you hold it all together and do it with such poise. Wish it were still easy for us to come by and see you guys!
You’re amazing, the fact that you can actually put all this into thoughts is incredible. I think you must be one of the strongest people I know.
Okay, am I that friend….if so next time if you come anounced, just don’t open my front closet:) You are extremely wise to acknowledge the stress in your life, so many times I let mine build up and then explode! Praying for you dailey and would love to be with you and visit. Love ya, Amanda L
Stopping by to say hi…. praying for Ryan every day….
laundry basket in laundry room! Secrets out better find a new place!
Praying for you and believeing for strength and peace. huge (((hugs))) for my boy! How are the girlies doing?
My family prays for you every day! We are so inspired by your faith and unconditional love for your precious baby Ryan!
Ok, so I posted an anonymous message, just to see if I could get this working! I’ve been a “stalker” now for… well, since the beginning! 🙂 I just love you and your family! My daughter is 3 (Lauren) and she prays for baby Ryan all the time. It’s the last part of the night, the precious few minutes before midnight! We both read your blog every day – and she continuously looks at Ryan’s pictures and esp. the videos! 🙂 They are precious! I can’t tell you enough how much it means to us… that you share so much, the joys and the pains. We are so hopeful, and every procedure that goes well, we jump for joy! God is good! You will hear more from us soon.
I wish I comment more but I hope you know I read your posts everyday! You are an inspiration to me!
I’m so there with you… but with EVERYTHING you’ve been through, I have never seen a “mess.” You are amazingly strong!!!
We call that box cleaning. I know it well.
And I love you, no matter what your house or emotional baggage looks like.
nice blog– can’t wait to see you soon.
I used to just not have people over or killed myself getting ready for their arrival. It was hard to enjoy the company when I was so exhausted. I have since learned that it is far more important to share my life with friends and family. If there’s a mess, there is probably a good reason for it. Some of those family and friends have actually jumped in and helped with the mess and made me sit and rest. It is always a blessing to have company, receive letters, get phone calls, and read comments on our blogs. Sometimes, it is better to receive. It prepares us to be better givers.
I don’t comment much, and I really don’t know you except through here. I do, however, know your spirit and am blessed by your blog. I am praying for your family. God bless you all from little Ryan to Henry.
Becky McConehea Laywell
Thanks for blogging and sharing your heart! I enjoy your writing, even though I scarcely slow down to respond in writing, but your post is such a good reminder to me to slow down and say hello and thank you!