“Conventional wisdom teaches us that we need to choose the right person if we want a happy marriage, but the danger is, that notion encourages couples to question the rightness of their partner when they hit a rough patch. In reality, good relationships are built on daily loving interactions, not on whether you feel your partner is truly your soul mate.”
Christine Meinecke, Ph.D
Everybody Marries the Wrong Person
I saw this quote the other day in a magazine article so I cannot account for the book, but this quote is spot on in my opinion. A big turning point for me was the day I realized happiness in my marriage has much less to do with my spouse and much more to do with me. In the hard times, it is easy to look at the faults of your spouse and think, “If only he would….”. One of the best things I ever did in my marriage was to stop thinking Henry needed to be exactly who I think he should be and start looking at what I can do to be a better spouse. Our culture is so caught up in how “I should be treated” or what “I deserve”. We are a culture of entitlement and self-focus, and it hinders our relationships.
The next time you are in an argument or disappointed with your spouse, think about how you can diffuse the situation. How can you show love and compassion and understanding? You will find your spouse responding better too.
“A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” Proverbs 15:1
“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.” 1 Corinthians 13:4-8
Comments (9)
This is a good post! I am reading a book called Love and War by John and Stasi Eldredge and it is really along these same lines if you are interested! Thanks!
amen, sista!
This is so good Leighann…and even at my age I still need to remember this! (:>) I think it is a lifelong practice.
Love, Linda @ Truthful Tidbits
Because really, whom can you change? Your spouse or yourself? Really, really wise words.
Great post..I totally agree!:)
I needed this today! Thank you!
I much prefer my fantasy that “if only he would….”
(too much work for me to change me!)
All that truth aside, you are right and anyone who is married can do with the reminder. Thx.
Excellent post – thank you!
My favorite book on marriage (which maybe you’ve already read), is “Sacred Marriage” by Gary Thomas. He basically says the same thing as the quote, but it’s a whole book about it. It is my all time fav. In! fact, I think I am about due to read it again